Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak. Because of all my enemies, I am the utter contempt of my neighbors; I am a dread to my friends-- those who see me on the street flee from me. I am forgotten by them as though I were dead; I have become like broken pottery. ~ Psalm 31:11-13
Today, I received another in a long line of disturbing phone calls from a dear friend who is at the end of her rope. Hers has become a life of constant suffering, and she doesn't understand why that is so nor why God allows it to continue without ANY break or blessing.
To be honest -- I don't understand it myself. I've been audience to her life scenarios and watched as she's been hit with trial after trial, hurt after hurt, setback after setback. This sweet friend has been a strong, staunch woman of faith in the Lord, and over the years, she has helped to bring me through some rough, despairing times. Yet I feel helpless and inadequate to help her now. When I try to encourage her, no matter what I say, I feel as though my words have a false, dull ring to them, and she doesn't want to hear them anyway.
She is at the point where her faith is gone, and she truly believes that not only is God punishing her, but that He has turned His back on her, becoming deaf to her prayers and blind to her presence before Him. She believes she has lost favor with her King, Who no longer extends His golden scepter to her. She is convinced that she has, somehow or other, committed the unforgivable sin and that desperately reaching out to touch the hem of His garment to be healed is no longer an option for her.
Sadly, my friend and sister-in-Christ has lost sight of her Father God Who loves, forgives and offers an endless supply of hope, mercy and grace. Our phone conversation today ended with me in tears, brokenhearted for her. I just cannot believe that she has fallen headfirst into such a deep, dark pit of unbelief. And I can't seem to reach her.
Would you, dear bloggy friends and readers, please join me in boldly coming before our Lord at His throne of grace to pray for this precious woman? I cannot reveal her name, but I KNOW that God knows her name. Even though I cannot convince my friend, I am convinced that He has not forgotten, abandoned nor forsaken her.
I wrote this poem last year, when my friend had shared with me that late at night when she can't sleep (a common occurrence), she would go out into her backyard, look up into the night sky and just literally scream and cry out to God, begging Him to see and hear her.
I dedicate this to her, and to all of those who falsely believe they are no longer daughters of the King, but unwanted orphans.
Where are You, Lord?
Where can I find You?
How far does the universe stretch, Lord --
Behind the clouds,
Beyond the stars?
How far away are You --
Farther than the farthest planet?
Farther than I could ever comprehend.
Where are You, Lord?
I need to know.
I need to find You.
How close are You, Lord?
Closer than I could possibly imagine?
Close enough to hear my heart when it pounds?
Close enough to hear my moments of whispered prayers --
Or my times of agonized screams heavenward?
Close enough to see my seasons of bitter complaint?
Are You close enough to dry my constant flow of tears with Your fingers?
Where are You, Lord?
I need to know.
I need to find You.
What are You doing, Lord?
Can You see me?
Do You even remember and know me?
I cry out to You,
With my face towards the night sky.
I listen......
But it's only my own voice I hear, echoing back to me.
I reach out my hand to You --
It grasps nothing but the air.
The cool, night breeze brushes against my tear-stained cheek,
And through the fingers of my still outstretched hand.
But wait --
Is that You, Lord?
Are You right here?
Right now?
Where are You, Lord?
I need to know.
I need to find you.
Please -- find me, too?
We all have our good days and bad days. Sometimes, even as Christ's followers, it seems that the bad days can outweigh the good. Things go wrong -- your kids miss the bus for the third time in a row and you're running late again for work. Your car's making 'that noise' and the Check Engine light boldly refuses to go out. Gossipy, catty coworkers have decided to put YOU in the rumor mill hot seat today. For the second time this month, an envelope arrives in the mail from you bank, containing the thin slip of paper with the dreaded words 'Insufficient Funds' emblazoned across the top, and you realize your rent is due in two days. Your kitty heaves up a ginormous hairball on your newly cleaned carpet AND your best shoes. And one of your answering machine messages reminds you that you promised to bring your yummy homemade brownies to tonight's 7:00 Bible study -- but it's 6:00 and you haven't even made dinner, let alone brownies.
Then there are the other, bigger things in life that go wrong, coming along like tsunamis to knock us down: a spouse up and leaves us for someone else; a parent dies; a friend betrays us; a lover rejects us; our children disappoint us with their foolish choices and destructive behaviors; a promotion is given to someone else or we lose our job entirely; our health concerns continue to spiral out-of-control, no matter what we or the doctors do.
Some days, we're better at putting on our happy face masks and going through the motions, chirping "I'm fine!" to anyone who asks. But then there are other days when even as our eyelids begin to flutter open and before our feet can touch base with the bedroom carpet, those heavy burdens we carry seem to come crashing through the roof for an unwelcome early morning 'meet and greet,' pressing us down before we can even rise up, shattering us. Anguish, hopelessness and depression become our captors. We are overwhelmed and broken before our morning coffee has a chance to brew.
These are the days when we can do nothing else but cry out to Jesus. These are the days when we NEED to remember that He is everything to us:
He is our King and our Friend
He is the Lover of our soul
He is our Wonderful Counselor
He is our Savior and Redeemer Who lives
He is our Helper
He is our Prince of Peace
He is our Rock and our Refuge
He is our beloved Good Shepherd
In my times of despair and feeling overwhelmed (whether caused by others or by my own hand), I've learned that the best place for me to find comfort, strength, encouragement, joy, peace and hope is in God's Word...and more specifically, in the Book of Psalms. While many of the 150 psalms are happy ones, centering on praise to, worship of and thanksgiving for our Lord, there are also others that address the discouragement, anguish, fears, hopelessness, sorrow and trials we all struggle with during our lives. Over the years, the Book of Psalms has become my book of hope.
Throughout Psalms, in each trying circumstance, in every moment of pain, sorrow, brokenness and oppression, the various psalm writers know exactly what to do and to whom they should run. They don't look to their families, friends, physicians or their government for help or comfort or strength --they call on and cry out to the Lord.
'Evening, morning and noon, I cry out in distress and He hears my voice.' (Psalm 55:17)
'Out of the depths I cry to You, O LORD; O Lord, hear my voice. Let Your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.' (Psalm 130:1-2)
'For He will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help.' (Psalm 72:12)
They pull no punches in telling Him just how they feel (because after all, He knows His children inside and out; He knows the hearts of the ones He loves, so why try to hide those feelings from Him?), as the Sons of Korah do in Psalm 88:
'You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths. Your wrath lies heavily upon me; You have overwhelmed me with all Your waves. (Selah) You have taken from me my closest friends and have made me repulsive to them. Do You show Your wonders to the dead? Do those who are dead raise up and praise You? Why, O LORD, do You reject me and hide Your face from me?' (Psalm 88:6-8;10;14)
They present all their complaints to Him:
'I cry aloud to the LORD; I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy. I pour out my complaint before Him; before Him, I tell my trouble (Psalm 142:1-2) and 'Hear me, O God, as I voice my complaint.' (Psalm 64:1)
and encourage others (like us) to do the same:
'Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge. Selah.' (Psalm 62:8)
'Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.' (Psalm 55:22)
I gain comfort in the knowledge that the Lord's anointed people weren't always perfect 'shiny, happy people'; they hurt and were depressed and felt angry and despondent as I often do. I'm not alone.
Because in our suffering, people can't always be there for us. They have their own lives to lead, their own families to care for, their own jobs to go to, their own health problems to contend with, their own issues and pain to deal with. Although they may long to help and comfort and counsel us, they can't always be available to us.
But there is a Friend, One Who sticks closer than a brother: Jesus. He is our faithful, loving Friend Who is always available to us, 24/7, 365 days a year. He is not overwhelmed or overbooked. We'll never hear, "I'm sorry, I'm unavailable to speak with you at the moment, but if you leave a message, I'll be sure to get back to you as soon as possible."
He is Immanuel -- God with us. He is El Roi -- The God Who Sees. He is not blind to your hurts and grief, or your fear and anxiety. He is Jehovah -Shammah -- God is there. Yes, He is right there wherever you are....in your emptiness and loneliness; in your hopelessness and brokenness.
'The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.' (Psalm 34:18)
Are you brokenhearted and unloved; anxious and exhausted; poor and needy, in distress and in despair? Look to the One Who knows and understands what it's like to be lonely and rejected; to be hurt and cast aside; to be in anguish and feel forsaken. He's been there. He's Jesus. Cry out to Him.
There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary,
And love for the broken hearts;
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing,
He'll meet you wherever you are....
Cry out to Jesus,
Cry out to Jesus. ~ Cry Out To Jesus, by Third Day
