"I Need You!"

I waited and waited and waited for God. At last He looked; finally He listened. He lifted me out of the ditch,   pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn’t slip. He taught me how to sing the latest God-song, a praise-song to our God. More and more people are seeing this: they enter the mystery, abandoning themselves to God. ~ Psalm 40:1-3, The Message

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There come times in the midst of our harsh trials and deep sorrows, our anxieties and fears, our confusion and loneliness when we find ourselves in an abyss; a spiritual dead zone, or broken down alongside a dark, unfamiliar and barren stretch of life's road.

We're lost.

We're weary.

And we're frightened.

So much so that all we can do is send up a flare in the form of a desperate, simplistic prayer, in the hopes that Someone will hear us and come to our rescue.

Nothing wordy or eloquent necessary here.  Four words or less will often do. Words often shouted.  Most times whispered.   Almost always accompanied by tears. 

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A plead for help.

A cry for mercy.  

A prayer of abandon and surrender.

"Lord, I need You!"

Joining together with all of you for whom this simple, yet powerful prayer is lifesaving and life giving....

A Prayer To Abba

For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!" ~ Romans 8:15 (NASB)

Abba Father, there are days that come when we feel so overwhelmed by our life circumstances; by the situations and events we see taking place all around us; by the people in our lives who are often abrasive, deceitful, difficult to love or forgive -- cold and uncaring or just plain too busy for us. 

Things aren’t working out the way we want them to; life isn't turning out the way we’d hoped, dreamed or planned. We cry out to You in desperation, but our voices echo back to us, our tears splash back on our faces and we feel alone in our struggles and our desperate needs. We wonder where You are in the midst of these dark and violent storms, these fiery trials and frightening happenings, these climbs up the steep mountainside......are You listening? Why won’t You answer the cries of Your children? We are anxious and afraid.

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Oh, but Abba, You DO hear us and recognize our voices. You are well aware of our circumstances, You know exactly what we need. You see us in our wilderness and You are not surprised to find us there. You are with us, right beside us in the lonely deep, dark pit or in the chaotic and frantic crowd, although we find it hard to see You through our tear soaked eyes, and to hear You and feel Your presence above our rapidly beating hearts, racing minds and shaking bodies. 

Help us to be still and know that You are God, and that You are constantly working behind the scenes in our favor, although we can’t see the work being done nor the fruit of that work as yet. Perhaps You are leading us down a path we don’t want to travel.  Perhaps You are preparing us for something yet to come. Or You are teaching us a hard and painful lesson we don’t wish to learn. You tell us, “Follow Me,” but we are afraid of the destination and the unfamiliar change of scenery. 

Help us, dear Father, to trust You totally and completely, because we know that You are merciful, forgiving and compassionate, always offering us Your amazing grace and unfailing love. You have ransomed us; You know us well, calling us by our names because we are Yours. When we pass through the deep waters, You WILL be with us; when we go through rivers of difficulty in our lives, You WILL NOT let us drown; and when we walk through the fires of oppression, You WILL NOT let them burn us up nor allow the flames to consume us as we fear they will. 

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We are so very precious to You and You love us. Help us to remember this, dearest Abba Father, and to not be afraid, no matter what. We ask this in the wonderful Name of Jesus, amen.

Why should the Father bother to call us His children?
Why should the Spirit hear it when we pray?
Why should the Father bother to be concerned with all our needs?
It's all because of what the Son has done
And we cry "Abba Father, Abba Father
Abba Father, Abba Father"
We cry "Abba Father, Abba Father
Abba Father, Abba Father" ~ Why Should The Father Bother? by Petra

Growing In Thankfulness

Each and every day, I am learning to be thankful. That sounds a bit odd, now doesn’t it? But not really. In a perfect world, I believe that living life as a grateful people would come naturally to us, like breathing. But this is not a perfect world. It’s a fallen world and we are a flawed people. From the moment we open our eyes in the morning until we close them again sometime late in the evening, it’s easy to breeze right through our days, missing the blessings, big and small, and the favor that our Almighty God and Father graces us with, and believing that everything we own or have become is a result of our own hard work, effort and intelligence. It can be easy in our high tech, high speed, self-focused lives to miss the gifts God leaves for us along our daily paths, to recognize they are from Him and to thank Him for them. I know….because I’ve been so guilty of this for much of my own life.

For me, growing in thankfulness comes from keeping my heart and mind focused and centered on my Lord, while making a determined effort to slow down and take time to look around for the blessings from Him that may or may not be obvious to me throughout my day.

Right now, I’m thankful for this day. I do not know what it hold for me, what all it entails. Yet, I choose to be thankful for it. I am thankful for the time in the early mornings that I’m able to spend with my Savior. I am grateful for the peace He affords me when I do. I’m thankful for the beauty of the stars when they glimmer and sparkle against the deep black velvet sky, like diamonds in a jewelry store showcase, or play hide-and-seek among the wisps of clouds that move across the early morning sky. I’m grateful for the dawn’s beginning: the wind of His breath that whispers through the bushes and the trees leaves. I’m thankful for the symphony of sounds: the tinkling wind chimes in my backyard and the chorus of crickets, tree frogs and birds. I’m grateful that I can inhale and enjoy the scents that float around me -- the fresh bamboo, lavender and peppermint candles I’m burning in various parts of the house right now, and the smell from my rain soaked backyard -- and that I can taste my morning coffee with its warm, rich flavor and a hint of cinnamon, and my crisp, buttery toast. I’m so, so thankful to God that my son and daughter are safely asleep in their bedrooms upstairs, and that they are healthy. And I’m grateful to God that I can walk, speak, see, hear, feel the temperature changes, think, write! Most of all, I am thankful for the privilege of being able to talk to my Lord Jesus, and that He hears my voice and listens to me when I bring Him my praise, my worship, my thanks, my joys, my sorrows, my rants, my needs, my concerns…and that He loves and cares about me, no matter what. There are so many things to be thankful to Him for. 

But wait a minute here. What happens when my life ISN’T so rosy? How about when my day DOESN’T start off so peacefully and the coffee's bitter, the toast is burned, the birds, tree frogs and crickets aren’t making music because it’s pouring down rain and my basement’s flooded?  Are we to be thankful for our rebellious, prodigal children (no matter what their age), for our mundane, dead-end jobs (or for the job we DON’T have), for the health problems that plague us and only seem to get worse, for the perennially empty bank account and never ending bills, for that person that just can’t seem to commit to the relationship we long to have with them, for the loss of a loved one, for our broken hearts and broken dreams? When life is dark and uncomfortable, filled with trials and storms, are we also to give thanks to God? And how in the world do we do that?

Over the years, I’ve heard sermons that point to 1 Thessalonians 5:18, which says in the New Living Translation: ‘Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.’ I’ve taken that to mean that I should thank God for His loving, powerful presence in my life and for the work He is doing in all my trial-like situations. Makes sense to me. But then there’s this other troubling verse, found in Ephesians 5:20, also in the NLT: ‘And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.’ Notice the change in wording: give thanks FOR everything. So what does this mean? Are we to give thanks for being jobless or homeless; for our falling apart marriages, our cancer diagnosis, the crash that totaled our car, for being the sole caretaker for our aging, ill parent or the death of a child? I can’t imagine talking to our Lord and saying, “Father, I’m so thankful that I have diabetes and have no job,” or, “Lord, how grateful I am that my son is on drugs and that my daughter was born with autism.” These things don’t roll off the tongue easily or comfortably, and honestly, I don‘t think they should.

However, I think, if we can come to the place where we truly believe that the Lord doesn’t bring about trials and storms in our lives because He delights in tormenting us or in punishing us for mistakes we’ve made, but does so instead to change us, to strengthen us, to teach us and to grow us, we can learn to thank Him sincerely, for the things He brings about in our lives are for His glory. We can begin to grow in thankfulness. Thankfulness to the Lord in hard times, as is praise to Him, is a sacrifice. Asaph, one of the psalmists, wrote these God breathed words in Psalm 50:23 (New Living Translation): ‘But giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors Me. If you keep to My path, I will reveal to you the salvation of God.’ And Jonah, while lodged inside the belly of a huge fish, humbly and desperately cried out to the LORD, ‘But I will offer sacrifices to you with songs of praise, and I will fulfill all my vows. For my salvation comes from the Lord alone.’ (Jonah 2:9, NLT) And finally, the apostle Paul, who was inspired to pen those words in Ephesians 5:20, also said this in 2 Corinthians 12: 7-10 (NIV): ‘To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’

 Like Paul, we can learn to thank God for allowing us to be the vessel through which He displays His glory, His honor, His power. We can learn to thank Him for strengthening us in our trials and for transforming us into more loving, compassionate, grace-filled followers of Him. We can learn to thank Him for the lessons He is constantly teaching us, and for drawing us ever closer to Him through every fiery trial and difficult situation. So while I may not say, “LORD God, thank You so much for allowing me to have cancer, thank You for these challenging children and this problematic marriage,” I CAN thank Him for the lessons in strength, perseverance, compassion, patience, humility and forgiveness that He has and continues to teach me, and for the way He continually draws me closer to Him as a result.

So for this present moment, I am growing in thankfulness, grateful to God for the wonder and the glory that He shows me in each day, in large and small ways; in mundane and exciting experiences; and for the growth that comes out of each situation and circumstance, good and bad; joyful and sorrowful. Lord, I’m thankful for Your nearness, Your realness, Your loving presence.

What if in the morning when I wake up
Even before I fill my coffee cupI said, "Thank You, thank You"
What if I look at the day and the hours ahead
And before I move forward I bowed my headI said, "Thank You", oh, I said, "Thank You"
What if I looked at my life in a different way
Took a little more time to stop and pray
I know it will change all the moments in betweenSo here I go….
Thank You for everything
Thank You for loving me
It don't even matter what tomorrow bringsWell, I will sing my
Thank You for sun and rain
For what You give and take away
For all Your goodness, I will always say
Thank You, oh I say thank You ~ ‘Thank You,’ by 33 Miles

Blessings

“What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?” ~ Laura Story

I woke up this morning with this song in my head.  Which I’m grateful to God for, since I went to sleep with feelings of ugly anger and bitter resentment in my heart. 

The other night on Facebook, I felt bombarded by all the posts from people whose teens had received or were receiving senior awards - while feeling hurt and resentful that my son did not.  Last week, everywhere I looked I saw pictures posted of the teens who attended their Senior Prom and tortured myself by reading all the wonderful comments from friends and, of course, the proud parents - while feeling sad and bitter because my son did not attend his.  And then later, I read that a friend’s teen and school mate of my son’s received a scholarship to a local college my son plans on attending this fall - and felt angry and envious because my son received nothing.  Add to this the fact that someone close to my son  whom we both admire and consider a friend is about to disappoint him (he’s already disappointed me with his news) and I was NOT a happy camper! 

I threw myself an incredibly huge pity party before I retired for the evening.  I knew it was wrong to feel that way, wallowing in my own ilk and self-pity and acting like such a whiner baby.   After all, am I not the one who is constantly telling one of my dear friends who is struggling and feeling like she and her family have been given the short end of the stick for some time now in the blessings department to NOT compare herself and her life to other people’s?  Am I not the one reminding her that looking at life through eyes clouded by entitlement and envy, bitterness and resentment is unhealthy and an enemy tactic that causes spiritual blindness?

Ahh, yes...I’m quite good at dispensing sage advice to others, but not so good at following it myself.   So, I went to sleep with anger, bitterness, envy, resentment, hurt, self-pity and entitlement as my bed partners.  It’s a wonder that I was able to get any sleep at all with that crowd

But...thank You Lord!....this morning,  I woke up with Laura Story’s song “Blessings” playing on a loop through my head:

What if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

So...who am I to look down on another’s joy, envying those whom God has chosen to bless in a particular way because I believe I deserve those very same blessings in my own life, for me and for my family?  Who am I to get angry at God for not giving me MY piece of the pie?   I’m doing the very same thing I preach at my friend NOT to do. 

And I think of my other friend whose teen received the scholarship – do I also want the trials with which this friend has been inundated recently?  Do I envy her loss of marriage and spouse’s love and trust? Loss of her vehicle? Loss of support from her church? Loss of her home, loss of her job?   I should be THRILLED for this gift that God has blessed my friend and her child with, a gift that is so very needed right now.  I shouldn’t be acting like a spoiled rotten brat of a child, whining because she missed the ice cream truck while her friends are all happily and contentedly sitting together on the curb, licking their ice cream cones or Popsicles.

When I take time to think on it, I can see that God has certainly given me my share of blessings, and brought my son from a mighty long way to where he is now. Frankly, years ago when our family was first given our son’s diagnosis of a chromosomal disorder AND an autism spectrum disorder, I never thought we’d wind up as far as we’ve come.  God has blessed us with great education opportunities for him and some amazing and wonderfully kind, caring and compassionate teachers along the way.   And I look back on how God has certainly brought ME from a mighty long way to where I am now.  He’s brought me through loss, rejection, betrayal, violence and illness, among other things. I have no reason to be envious and ungrateful.  I have no reason to be angry and bitter. I have no reason to whine and complain.

I think now of the apostle Paul’s words in the book of Philippians; in chapter two, verse, 14,  he advises us not to grumble or complain.  I like the Amplified Bible’s translation:

“Do all things without grumbling and faultfinding and complaining against God and questioning and doubting among yourselves.” 

This is so we will remain pure & uncontaminated, faultless and without guilt, enabling us to reflect Jesus Christ and His character to those in this world who don’t know Him and who have been tainted by all its filth.  But I also take it as being content with the life we’ve been given by God, gratefully accepting all He’s planned for us, taking the good with the bad, rather than wallowing in discontent while foolishly and arrogantly railing against Him Who loves us unfailingly and unconditionally.  And later, in his letter to the Philippians, Paul also speaks of being content in every circumstance.  Again, the Amplified Bible says it best for me in chapter four, verses 11 -13:

“...for I have learned how to be  content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted) in whatever state I am.  I know how to be abased and live humbly in straitened circumstances, and I know also how to enjoy plenty and live in abundance. I have learned in any and all circumstances the secret of facing every situation, whether well-fed or going hungry, having a sufficiency and enough to spare or going without and being in want.  I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency.”

And Job, when niggled by his grief stricken wife to shelve his integrity, call it quits with God, curse Him and die, had this to say then as a reminder to us now:  "Should we accept only good from God and not adversity?" (Job 2:10, HCSB) 

These concerns I’m allowing to get the best of me are truly trivial in the grand scheme of things.  While I continue to struggle with comparing myself to people who seem to be more blessed and highly favored than I am on any given day, it would do well for me to also take time to remember there are those who have it much, much worse in life than I, struggling just to make it through another day, all in one piece.  Lord, I need You to help me to let these things go!!

How do I know what’s around the corner, waiting for me and my family? How can I be sure of what God’s got in store for us next?  Whether it’s blessings, trials or mediocrity, I don’t know and I can’t be sure.  All I do know and am certain of is that God has a plan for my life, for my husband’s, my son’s, my daughter’s lives.  It’s all about accepting that it’s His will, not mine, and moving forward from there, joyfully and gratefully. 

So what if maybe, through trials, unanswered prayers, desires withheld and changed up circumstances....what if MAYBE God has something different and better in mind for us – a lesson to be learned, a strengthening to be given, a transformation to take place -- via a road less traveled that is unfamiliar and unwanted by us, but familiar to God and necessary for us to walk down with Him?

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise? ~ Blessings, by Laura Story