Worship Song Sunday -- Not For A Moment (After All) - Live, by Meredith Andrews and the Vertical Church Band

'Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.' 
~ Psalm 27:10 (NLT)

The Promise, by Morgan Westling

Some years ago, there was a commercial whose tag line was 'Life Comes At You Fast.'  I wholeheartedly agree with that.  Sometimes, too fast.  And with too much flux. Nothing stays the same and you have no control. 

Like a roller coaster, I can be up one moment and down the next. Some days, it's all I can do just to hold on tightly to the safety bar and hope I don't fly out of my seat! 

Can anyone out there relate to that?

Back in June of 2000, my mother passed away; my father six years earlier. I recall sitting outside on my front steps the morning I received the phone call from the nursing home about my mom, feeling so lost and thinking, 'Wow. I'm officially an orphan.'  Being in my '40s at the time and married with two children, it was such an odd thing to come to mind, but it's how I felt. 

Ever feel that way?  Like an orphan? Neglected, forgotten, abandoned, lost, alone?  

Be encouraged, dear ones.  On days like these -- days where life comes at you at the speed of blur, everything seems out of control, or you're feeling alone and forgotten -- let's remember that we worship, serve and love a great and glorious God.  A God Who is constant. Who is good. Who is sovereign.  A God Who has promised to never leave us nor forsake us. Take some time to sit and saturate yourself with the promises of God in His Word:

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. ~ John 14:18 (NIV)

For I will be with you as I was with Moses; I will not fail you or abandon you. ~ Joshua 1:5 (NLT)

Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!] ~ Hebrews 13:5 (AMP)

When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. ~ Psalm 27:10 (AKJV)

Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, but I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands. ~ Isaiah 49:15-16, NKJV

Remember, I am with you always. ~ Matthew 28:20 HCSB

The Family of God, by Nathan Greene (copyright 1992)

It's my sincere wish that this song will not only allow you to experience a greater sense God's presence as you worship Him in song, but that it will also encourage, inspire, comfort you, and bring you hope.

I heard this song the other day for the first time while waiting for my daughter in her high school's parking lot.  I'm glad I was early and that no one was around, because the words and the music moved me to tears.  I was reminded that I am loved by a holy, good and faithful Father, Who knows where I am at all times and Who hears my cries, because He is right here with me, even when I cannot perceive His Presence. He will not forsake me -- nor you -- not for a moment. 

Worship Song Sunday -- All For You, by Mikeschair

I'd planned on posting here early this morning, but circumstances beyond my control hindered me from doing so.   As often happens (more than I care to admit), I had way too much going on before I ran out the door for church to be in a worshipful, let alone focused, state of mind, and I was trying hard to avoid being late (again), so I could at least be worshipful and focused when I walked sprinted into church. 


I had a completely different song all set to go here, too. Not that it wasn't a good one -- it is. Yet obviously, it's meant for another time. I woke up with today's song firmly implanted in my head.  And now I know why.   


Once I got to church, the unexpected happened. Without going into loads of details, we had a medical incident happen midway through the first service, involving one of our older saints, who is my neighbor and who catches a ride with us to church almost every Sunday.  It was, to say the least, disconcerting and a bit scary, but I was amazed at how many people stepped up to the plate immediately to assist and how lovingly, how tenderly and how well it was done.  Our young pastor handled it all with such calm, compassion, grace, mercy and love, calling everyone who was not assisting to just lift up their hands and cry out loud to the LORD on this person's behalf and encouraging all to worship and praise Him in the midst of the goings on.  Which they promptly did.  I've not seen anything like it, really.

I am thankful and grateful that nothing -- NOTHING -- takes our Father God by surprise.  He made sure that particular people with professional medical backgrounds were at church today, at this particular service time, and that they were easily and quickly accessible before the paramedics arrived to take over.  He surrounded this person with church members who had loving hearts, cool heads, a good understanding of and compassion for the elderly and strong arms to help and comfort.


It's several hours later and while I'm still a bit shaky from it all, mostly I'm in awe, once again, over how awesome and amazing God truly is, and just how worthy He is of our praise and worship. 


Some of the lyrics to this song are as follows:


'I stand amazed at Who You are,
I'm overcome by what You've done.'


'I'm here right now, I need You now
I lift Your Name above the doubt,
This is my offering for You.'


'I leave my burden at Your feet
In You I find my victory,
There is nothing You can't do.'


No, there certainly is NOTHING God can't do. 


Two things I would like to ask of all of you reading this post.  First, even though most or all of you may not know this elder saint (unless you're from my church and were at this particular service today), would you please take a moment to lift her up in prayer?  I'm still unsuccessful at getting in touch with any of her immediate family to let them know what transpired today and where she is.  Thankfully, some members of our church family went to the hospital  and are still there with her. 


And second, won't you join me in giving all worship and praise to our God? For it truly is ALL for Him.

Blinded By The Light

I had a rough night last night. First, I couldn’t get to sleep. Then, after several hours of tossing and turning, I finally fell asleep, only to wake up around 2:00 a.m., sick to my stomach and in pain. I wandered downstairs and into my kitchen, in search of some Pepto-Bismal, and found that someone (or perhaps multiple someones) had left behind a sink full of dirty dishes. Neither food nor liquids had been kindly or thoughtfully rinsed off the variety of bowls, dishes, silverware and cups. I became immediately aggravated which only intensified my stomach pains and my headache.

As the mother of teens, I am weary of having to remind them daily to be responsible and to do their part regarding household chores. Everybody wants to reap the benefits of being older and more mature, but having to handle the responsibilities that go along with that don’t seem to get much attention and often get lost in the shuffle. Of course, there IS another adult in this household that could help and be supportive, but that’s a minefield I choose not to walk across today.

Anyway, over the years, I’ve come to realize and have had to admit to myself (and now, to others) that I am a full blown, anal-retentive control freak.  As I stated in earlier posts, the act of letting go of people, things and situations into God’s hands and then leaving them there has been and is a constant struggle for me. Try as I might (and believe me, I have tried and tried and tried), I cannot change anyone, which frustrates me to no end.  There are times when I feel like such a failure because my words, actions, examples and prayers have done nothing to change the hearts, minds and attitudes of the people in my life, especially those who are closest to me. I’m well aware that only God is able to truly change the hardest and most stubborn of hearts, minds and souls of people, yet when no change seems to come, even after years and years, I tell myself that in order for God to be able to transform someone, they themselves have to sincerely WANT to change (sidebar of irony here: as I‘m writing this, my dog just let me know the mail had arrived and waiting for me was a solitary envelope with the words “I REALLY WANT TO CHANGE…SO, HELP ME, GOD” emblazoned across the front of it). But, as I sat at my kitchen table in the wee hours this morning, clutching my trusty pink bottle of Pepto and glaring at the sink, the story of Saul on the road to Damascus popped into my head.

Saul was certainly not looking to be changed the day the Lord stopped him dead in his tracks with a blinding light and a message that he was to go from being Saul, persecutor extraordinaire of those who were followers of The Way, to Paul, man on fire for Christ and deliverer of the Good News for the Gentiles. In fact, Saul was actually on his way to Damascus to wreak more havoc: 

‘Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples. He went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute Me?” “Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked. “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” He replied. “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.” The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything. ‘ (Acts 9:1-9)

No, change was not on Saul’s agenda that day, but in the blink of an eye (no pun intended), he was instantly and completely transformed from the inside out by the Lord. A man who believed he had his life and the lives of many others completely under his command and control and felt no need or desire for change within himself, now found himself out of control: not only totally blind and dependent upon his fellow traveling buddies to lead him the rest of the way to Damascus, but totally under the Lord’s command and control now.

The point here is something that I keep forgetting -- 

ALL things are possible with God (Mark 10:27). 

NOTHING is too hard for Him (Jeremiah 32:17). 

Yes, not being in control and unable to change certain people in my life sure is frustrating for me. Yet I wonder how much more frustrating it is for God, watching me struggle all these years to learn to let go of each and every person, thing and situation into His more than capable hands and to leave them there, trusting Him to bring about the necessary change, perhaps with other Damascus moments. 

If I'm blind to His will for me,
Then I'll wait to be shown;
And like Paul, I'll have an answer too,
At the end of Damascus Road.

I've been walking down Damascus Road,
And I've carried many cares;
To the place where I am waiting now,
Till the Master tells me where to go from here.

I'm learning grace I thought I'd never have,
And how to wait upon the Lord;
The answer's sweet, I think it's just in sight,
At the end of Damascus Road. ~ Damascus Road, by The Perrys

Letting Go, Part Two

Yesterday, I ended my post by asking a question: ‘what does letting go look like for me? What or whom do I need to let go of?’ Today, I’ll do my best to answer that question. As I stated in yesterday’s post, the act of ripping open your heart and allowing others to step up and take a peek within is never fun or easy, and I might add, it’s a little bit scary. I’ve found that being raw and transparent sometimes results in offending, angering or turning off other people. So at the risk of perhaps doing that, here I go.

As the believing wife of an unbelieving husband, I need to let go of my dream of having a loving marriage to a man who knows and loves and lives for Jesus and who would give me incredible joy by serving Him alongside of me; a husband who really LOVES ME, and just doesn't stay with me because it’s perhaps easier, cheaper and less messy than divorcing me. I need to let go of my dream of a happy family with kids who know and love and live for Jesus because they have a mother and father who are on the same page as tandem spiritual leaders in the home and can model His love, grace, mercy and forgiveness to them. I need to let go of my fear of a recurrence of cancer somewhere else in my body, a fear that I keep well hidden from others, but one which I’m constantly aware of hanging over my head. I need to let go of my family into God’s hands. I need to let go of all the hurt, humiliation and rejection I feel because of them, all the anger, bitterness, frustration, disappointment and most of all, the unforgiveness I feel towards them. I’ve tried, but it hasn’t been easy, due in part to some particularly difficult and dysfunctional family dynamics, as well as the aforementioned fact that my husband and I are spiritually unequally yoked. This may sound harsh, but as dearly as I love my family, I often feel as if they are the enemy and there are days I have to wonder just what in the world God is doing. Does He not see what’s going on here? Has He not heard my cries and pleadings for help and change and deliverance? What’s He waiting for? How long ’til He steps in and does something??!! It’s as if my expectations of what could be and the reality of what is are engaged in a continual, fierce battle...and reality seems to be winning.

However, let me assure you right now that all of this is NOT to say that these dreams and expectations may never come to fruition some day. Please don’t think for one minute that I believe or want anyone else to believe that letting go is parallel to or equated with giving up. It is not. There is ALWAYS hope, for as Jesus told His disciples, “All things are possible with God.” But for now, God’s still, small voice continues to invade my heart, mind and soul as He tells me: “Everything you’re holding onto -- let it go. Let go of the dreams and the overly high expectations, dear one. Let go of your family…and leave them to Me. Let go of the control you think you possess. Let go of your fears, your doubts, your despair, your anxiety. Let it all go and give it all over to Me. I have so much more for you, but you can’t receive it until your hands are open and free!”　
　
There are lessons to be learned in letting go. Like learning to be content with the life I’ve been given by Him, and being satisfied with that great, unfailing, no strings attached love He has for me. Learning to keep my hands in an open position and to be on the lookout for the unexpected blessings that God has in store for me along the way. Lessons of trust and of patience, knowing and believing that God does indeed have plans for my life, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, but instead, to give me a hope and a future; plans that will ultimately bring Him glory -- yet these are lessons I struggle to learn every day.

Maybe this is your struggle, too. What are you afraid to let go of and surrender to God today? Some thing or someone? A hidden sin or addiction? A prodigal child? A broken dream, marriage or relationship? A broken heart? Something that has long since died and yet you keep holding onto its hard, cold, lifeless corpse. Won't you join me in allowing God to gently, but firmly, pry our hands, finger by finger, off whatever it is we're holding onto so tightly? Won't you join me in allowing God to empty our hands of something dead so that He can refill them with something alive and good and glorious and wonderful?

I've been holding on so tight
Look at these knuckles
They've gone white
I'm fighting for who I wanna be
I'm just trying to find security

But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the ones who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life, it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go. ~ ‘Let It Go,’ by Tenth Avenue North

Letting Go -- Part One

My soul is in deep anguish. How long, LORD, how long?~Psalm 6:3

Letting go. A phrase that falls into the category of ‘easy to say, hard to do.’

Letting go. Such a foreign concept to me, but one so necessary for me to understand.

Depending upon what or whom we’re holding onto, it certainly isn’t easy or fun to rip open our hearts and share with one another what we’re struggling to keep a tight rein on in our lives, is it? It can be gruelingly difficult. It can be terribly embarrassing. And it can be downright painful. Very painful.

Each of us has something or someone that we need to let go of. Past regrets, guilt or shame. An ungodly attitude or an unhealthy addiction. An ugly, hurtful stereotype. A loved one who met with an untimely death. A child stepping into young adulthood and heading for college, the job market or the military. A broken relationship. A broken heart. A broken dream. Painful memories. Admitting we need to let go is one thing. Making the effort to actually DO IT is an entirely different story.



Our hands can become cramped and quite bloody from our inability to let go. I know mine are. There are things and people I’ve been holding onto for a very long time, not ready, willing or able to unclench my fists and let them slip from my grip. Why is that? For me, I think perhaps it has to do with my great expectations of life. For many, many years, I had this perfect vision of exactly how my life would turn out to be, what I was entitled to and what I deserved. I don’t think I’m alone here in having such expectations. After all, from the time we’re young, we’re encouraged to dream and dream big as we reach for the stars. We’re told we can be whomever we want to be or have whatever we want, it’s all within our grasp. And really, there’s nothing wrong with focusing on the positive and aiming high. But what happens when the dream is shattered and the stars disappear? When we wind up being secretary to the corporation president instead of BEING the president or turn out to be more like Mommie Dearest and less like Mother-of-the-Year?

As a flawed human being, I also tend to place these great expectations on other people, most especially on those whom I deeply love and care about, setting them up on Mt. Everest sized pedestals. But once again, what happens when they come crashing down around us? What happens when the perfect child suddenly turns into the prodigal child? How about when expectations of a storybook romance and marriage morph into an episode of Fractured Fairy Tales instead ?

Well, with me, here’s what happens. Surrounded by my shattered expectations and broken dreams, standing amidst the painful shards of disappointment, fear, anger, bitterness, sorrow, resentment and frustration, I throw back my head, shake my fist and shout things like, “Hey LORD, WHAT are You doing?! NONE of this was supposed to happen!!! You KNOW I didn’t sign up for THIS!! WHEN are You going to DO something? How much longer do I have to wait, Lord?!” I feel alone and forgotten, like God isn't paying attention or listening, and maybe never was. My faith, hope and trust in Him rapidly begin to disappear. But it shouldn’t. God loves me. He knows me. He’s on my side. But I forget about this as I begin doing damage control, desperately focusing on trying to hold onto those people, things and situations I feel are not following along accordingly with MY plans, or gripping tightly to whatever or whomever I believe is being unfairly snatched from my hands. I engage in a brutal tug-of-war and refuse to let go, because THEY’RE MINE, doggone it! But I need to let go. It’s what God desires and requires for me to do. Because really, everything I’ve ever had, currently have or will ever have all comes from God. By letting go, I’m freeing my hands up to receive whatever else God has for me. In the story of Job, after losing everything he had (except for his own life and his unsupportive, disparaging wife) Job said, “The LORD giveth and the LORD taketh away. Blessed be the Name of the LORD.” And by the end of the story, we learn that, ‘The LORD blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part.’ But I forget about that, too.

For years I've been struggling to remain in control....of my family, of my health, of every painful circumstance that’s come down the pike in my life and threatened to trip me up and knock me down and out. But in the Kingdom of God, life isn’t supposed to be about being in control and holding onto things and people with a death grip. It’s supposed to be about surrender and letting go….to Him.

So what does letting go look like for me? What or whom do I need to let go of? I’ll share that in tomorrow’s post.