Adding To The Noise

Don’t say anything that would hurt another person. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you. 

Don’t give God’s Holy Spirit any reason to be upset with you. He has put his seal on you for the day you will be set free from the world of sin.

Get rid of your bitterness, hot tempers, anger, loud quarreling, cursing, and hatred. Be kind to each other, sympathetic, forgiving each other as God has forgiven you through Christ.~ Ephesians 4:29-32 (God's Word Translation)

I must be honest and say that I am weary of seeing and sickened by the barrage of posts and pictures coming through my news feed on Facebook, on Twitter and even on Instagram, about the verdict of the George Zimmerman trial, along with the ugly, snarky by-lines and comments that accompany them.

Emotions are running high among 'just plain folks' like you and I, as well as amid celebrities, and the verbiage that pops up like out-of-control July 4th fireworks from both camps is, in my opinion, causing more damage, division and destruction than anything else.

I said this before, and I'll say it again -- think before your fingers touch your keyboard today. THINK before you hit the POST or SEND button today. And tomorrow. And the next. Don't let negative emotions taint your words and turn them into harmful, verbal poison. Once they're out there, you can't take them back.

Please think about the impact you are having upon people, especially young people with whom you may be friends, who are reading your posts and Tweets, who may be looking to you for guidance, leadership and understanding of what has taken place.  

My pastor likes to remind us often -- and thankfully so -- that if we are not part of the solution, we are part of the problem.

I ask you: Can we just STOP adding to the noise by this verbal and pictorial perpetuation of hate, distrust and division??

In a different translation (NIV) of the verse I referenced above from the book of Ephesians, the apostle Paul implored the church at Ephesus:

'Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths.'

We can take that as filthy language (swearing) or.... as using words that tear apart something that is whole. Words that divide us as human beings. As children of God.

And earlier in this passage, Paul urges his readers to

'speak the truth in love.'  

Are we not to take these same words and apply them to our lives & situations today? Sadly, I'm not seeing much of that here on social media from many people -- even and especially from those who claim to align themselves with Jesus and call themselves Christians.  

So like my pastor and like the apostle Paul, I feel led to remind, implore and urge everyone today:

Please stop being part of the problem. Please stop 'stirring the soup.' Please stop promoting hatred and inciting angry, hurtful and violent emotions. 

Maybe it's time to take a much needed break from television, radio and social media. Maybe it's time to go for a walk, read a book, take a drive, a bike ride or a swim. 

Or maybe it's time to find a quiet, solitary place, drop to our knees in humility and pour out our complaints and questions, anger and frustrations to the One -- the ONLY One -- Who can take our ilk and ire, the One Who is Sovereign. Who is Righteous. Who is Just and Justice itself.  Who is God.

God -- The One Who showed His great love for us by sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for us while WE were still sinners.  Selah

And then....

Can we forgive as Christ forgave? Can we offer mercy and grace as Christ offered mercy and grace to those who only offered Him hostility, hatred, violence and injustice?

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." ~ Dr. Martin Luther King

Ready To Forgive

“Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”  ~ Colossians 3:13, TLB

As I typed out the above verse, two words stood out to me and the more I stared at the verse, the more those two words kept hitting me right between the eyes: 

Never

Must

Words that don’t allow for much wiggle room. This verse doesn’t say ‘you probably shouldn’t hold grudges.’  Nor does it imply that you might want to consider forgiving others.  It’s quite clear – NEVER hold grudges.  You MUST forgive others.

Again -- I KNOW this is extremely hard. At times, it borders on the impossible. Yet, if we're struggling and wrestling with a spirit of unforgiveness, we need to remember that:

Forgiveness is essential to living as a follower of Christ.  It is a high calling; at the same time, it is a hard calling.  A calling you may have great difficulty in answering. Someone may be reading this right now and think, “But she has NO IDEA what I’ve been through! She doesn’t understand what that person DID to me! I just can’t get over it and I can’t forgive them! Besides, they don’t deserve it!”

I get that, I really, truly do.  I’ve never lost a precious loved one to another's random, stupid, thoughtless decision, or to a premeditated heartless, violent act by someone else. I’ve never experienced the sickening shock of having a spouse confront me after years of marriage to tell me it’s all been a sham and they’re leaving me for someone else.  I've never had a parent turn their back on me, abandon me, or had them stand idly and silently by while allowing another family member to perform unspeakable acts on me.

However -- many years ago, when I was a teenaged girl in what seems now like another lifetime, I was raped by someone I considered a good friend. Raped and literally kicked to the curb on a stormy night, with no way of getting home. Scared.  Ashamed. Angry. And broken. So very broken.

Not many people know this, but my current marriage is actually my second one.  In my first marriage, I was the victim of domestic violence and suffered much physical, mental and emotional abuse at the hands of a man who swore before God, family and friends to love, honor and obey me 'til death do us part. Death was pretty darn close the night he shoved a loaded revolver in my mouth and laughing said, 'Let's play Russian Roulette!' 

I’ve been betrayed by someone I admired greatly, and had malicious, slanderous, ugly gossip spread throughout my office by two friends and coworkers who were like sisters to me.  I’ve been mistreated over and over by those who claimed to love me. I thought I’d forgiven these people, but it took years for me to see, with alarming and humiliating clarity, and through painful, yet cleansing, Christian counseling, that I had failed miserably to do so.

It’s said that harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison, and expecting the other person to die. I drank deeply from the cup of unforgiveness for a very long time, emptying it often.  And the only person who suffered the consequences, as well as the awful, metallic taste of anger, bitterness and resentment – was me.

Speaking of consequences – here’s a rather unsettling wake-up call for us: if we choose not to forgive another’s transgressions, the result of that choice will be that God won’t forgive us of ours as well.  

Be mindful that forgiveness doesn’t mean we tolerate and condone the sinful behaviors and actions of another.  It’s not making light of or believing and having others believe the offense was no big deal. And, as one wise reader reminded me in a comment on the first post in this Forgiveness trilogy, "Forgiveness does not equal trust."  Amen!  South African leader Desmond Tutu, who led his nation through the painful process of forgiveness and reconciliation, had this to say:

“Forgiveness and being reconciled are not about pretending that things are other than they are.  It is not patting one another on the back and turning a blind eye to the wrong.”

And Dr. Gary Inrig, pastor and author, says “Forgiveness looks sin in the eye and nevertheless speaks costly words: ‘I forgive you.’”

Yes, forgiveness can be painful and costly for those of us who are doing the forgiving, especially when the offense has been monumental and the perpetrator shows no signs of remorse nor feels there is any reason for them to be forgiven.  But forgiveness does help to lead and guide us down the path of healing.  The path of peace.  The path of freedom. Forgiveness is indeed a journey. 

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free, and discover that the prisoner…was you.” ~ Lewis B. Smedes

I’m reminded of two amazing stories. One made headlines back in October 2006, when an entire Amish community forgave one man his unimaginably heinous sin of murdering their children in a one room school house in Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania.  Forgiving the unforgivable is not a quick and easy offering of a cheap pardon, but an extremely costly gift of grace. 

The other story is of Holocaust survivor Corrie ten Boom, and the incredible act of forgiveness she was able to extend, many years later, to the man who had been one of the guards at Ravensbruck, the concentration camp in which Corrie and her sister, Betsie, had been exiled (and where Betsie eventually was killed).  In both instances, I am blown away by the depth of their extreme forgiveness. 

The only way I believe any of us can even attempt to sincerely forgive is to run to Jesus. He's been there, dear ones.  Right where you and I are, or were, or will be again sometime soon. Jesus has stood in that place -- poised at the crossroads of forgiveness and revenge. And choosing the path of forgiveness. Choosing to forgive the unforgivable, the inexcusable and the impossible.

Forgiven, by Ross Docken

Cry out to Him, lean into Him and rely totally on Him in your weakness.  Look to our precious Savior for help in letting go of all our anger, hatred, bitterness, pain; our vengeful and malicious thoughts, and let His love envelop our heart, mind and spirit.  Allow Him to speak through us and to forgive others through us. This is something we cannot do by ourselves in our own supposed strength, but through Him who strengthens us!  Our Lord may quickly and supernaturally ignite forgiveness in your heart, allowing healing to take place immediately.  Or, as He did with me, He may take you on a longer, slower journey, acting and speaking through a compassionate, trusting Christian counselor. 

Now it's time for the painful, difficult question -- who in your life needs pardoning today, dear one?  To whom do you need to extend the mercy and grace of God? Take a deep breath -- are you ready to forgive?

Most times, at the end of a blog post, I'll include song lyrics or a video of that particular song for how it relates to the story or for its personal meaning for me.  This time, however, I decided to share the video of the story behind the song, 'Forgiveness,' by singer Matthew West. It's a powerful story of a woman who chose, in Christ's strength, to live out the verse below: 

"Get rid of all bitterness rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you." ~ Ephesians 4:31-32, NIV

Forgiveness

"Forgive, and you will be forgiven." ~ Luke 6:37, NIV

Jesus.

He had some pretty hard sayings in His day, didn't He?  Difficult, even radical commands that He asked His followers to obey. Commands that made many wince; commands that caused many to shake their heads in disbelief and rebellion, and to turn and walk away.

Things like, 

"Love your enemies. Bless those who curse you and pray for those who mistreat you." 

"Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me will  save it." 

Today, as followers of Jesus, we come across these hard sayings of His in God's Word, and are asked to obey these same difficult, radical commands. Because, as Jesus told His disciples then and tells us now, 

'If you love Me, obey My commandments.' (John 14:15, NLT) 

One such command of Jesus' was the command to forgive. Indeed, Jesus had some radical things to say about forgiveness.  Things like:

"But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too. ” ~ Mark 11:25

"If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." ~Matthew  6:14-15

When Peter came to Jesus regarding how many times he was required to forgive someone who had sinned against him, he asked Jesus if he should forgive that person 7 times.  The answer?

“No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!" ~ Matthew 18:21

Is the idea of offering forgiveness easy, or is it harsh or difficult for you? 

Does having to forgive someone, whether the sin was against you personally or against someone else, make you:

• wince?

• angry?

• bitter?

• sick to your stomach?

• shake your head in disbelief and rebellion, and turn and walk away?

I know I have to say a resounding 'Yes' to most of the above. How do you forgive someone who has not only hurt you so deeply you feel tangible pain, but CONTINUES to hurt you over and over and over?  Like on a daily basis. Oh, my dears -- how I have wrestled with this through the years, only to come up empty handed, bruised and exhausted!!

How do you forgive someone who has taken something....or someone....from you? How do you forgive someone who has destroyed your family, your childhood innocence, your marriage, your career, your hopes and dreams, your reputation, your very life? Or someone else's? Again, this has -- and continues to be -- a struggle for me.  How about you?

Yes, I can tell you from experience, 'forgive' is certainly not the 'f' word that's come to my mind or from my lips right out of the gate over the years, after being abused, rejected, mocked, mistreated, lied to, gossiped about or hurt by others.  

But it was for Jesus.  

Father, forgive them......

More to come in my next post. I hope you'll join me for it. 


'This is love, this is hate....we've got a choice to make

Oh -- Father, won't You forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no);

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losing......'  ~from Losing, by Tenth Avenue North

Jesus Says.....

Jesus says:

Search for Me tirelessly
Pursue Me relentlessly
Pray to Me unceasingly
Listen to Me carefully
Wait for Me expectantly
Accept Me willingly
Live for Me joyfully
Hold onto Me tightly
Share Me unashamedly
Love Me sacrificially
Trust in Me confidently
Obey Me faithfully
Serve Me humbly
Speak of Me courageously
Worship Me authentically
Praise Me IN SPITE OF......
Endure with Me patiently
Surrender to Me always
Have faith in Me completely
Confess to Me honestly

Love others unconditionally
Forgive others sincerely
Give to others unselfishly
Extend mercy and grace to others consistently
And don't give up