Behold

Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.”
Then the angel departed from her.' Luke 1:38, NAB

In my Advent devotional today, the referenced Gospel reading comes from Luke 1:26-38.  We're told the angel Gabriel comes to Mary with a somewhat troubling greeting – “Hail, full of grace! The Lord is with you” – as well as an overwhelmingly stunning announcement: “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High. The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore, the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God.” (Luke 1:28; 30-32;35, NAB)

Can you even imagine? Being visited by an angel is jaw-dropping enough of an experience. But to be given a message such as the one which Gabriel delivered to this young, already betrothed virgin from Nazareth? Well, it’s hard to fathom. Especially considering the consequences for birthing a child sans the benefit of marriage back in those days and in that locale were, at the very least, to be shunned by fiancé, family and friends, or worse: to be stoned to death.

Yet Mary doesn’t run and try to hide from the angel Gabriel’s presence (that would probably be my initial reaction); she doesn’t try to deflect and tell him that he’s got the wrong gal (me, again!), nor does she ask him to wait or to come back after she’s had time to consult with her parents, with Joseph or with her friends. No, after asking only one (one!!) question out of her youthful innocence, Mary’s humble, courageous response is this: “Behold, the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.” (Luke 1:38, ERV)

Today, where is God calling you to go? How is He calling you to be His conduit, His ambassador, His instrument and to be present in the lives of others? What is He calling you to carry, to birth, to nurture? To whom is God calling you to serve, to encourage, to console, to love, to forgive?

Dear ones, as this season of preparation winds down, and the celebration of our Savior's birth draws near, keep your eyes, ears and heart open for what God is looking to do in and with your life, and consider what YOUR response might be, no matter how troubling or astonishing His calling may sound. And don’t be afraid.

Your Grace Finds Me -- Matt Redman

"But God, with the unfathomable richness of His love and mercy focused on us, united us with the Anointed One and infused our lifeless souls with life -- even though we were buried under mountains of sin -- and saved us by His grace." ~ Ephesians 2:4-5, The Voice

My friends -- if you are feeling lost and alone....let His grace find you.

An Advent Transformation

'The angel Gabriel from Heaven came,

His wings as drifted snow, his eyes as flame;
"All hail", said he, "Thou lowly maiden Mary,
Most highly favored lady", Gloria!' ~ 'Gabriel's Message' 

'Mary Is Visited By The Angel Gabriel,' by Walter Rane

Hello, my friends. It has been some months since I've posted anything here on my blog. Close to three months, to be exact. 

I'd had every good and sincere intention of quickly posting the promised 'sister' piece to my last post, 'Ministry Minded.' The majority of it is written, with the appropriate pictures and labels in place.

But here in the Draft portion of my blog it sits. Unfinished. Incomplete. Waiting. Because there was/is something missing. Something important. Something vital. Not in the post itself.

No. Something important, something vital is missing in me. Way deep inside. 

And because of this, I've been going through a transformation of sorts. It's been a slow and painful process, one that, truth be told, is quite irritating. One that I'm finding extremely difficult to embrace or accept. One that requires a willingness to obey (sadly, I don't always have that), AND truckloads of patience (oops...don't always have that either). 

One that leaves me drained and uninspired most days.

I feel like a butterfly just wanting to escape from my lonely, stifling cocoon, only to realize it's not time yet for me to emerge. God's hand keeps pulling me back in. 

Because He and I both know there is a need for Him to do so much more work in me.

courtesy of Koiné

Work that becomes more consistent, more intense and more painful with each passing day, as I journey through this particular season of preparation AND transformation known as Advent. 

However, in the suffocating starkness and silence of this cocoon, where the desire and inspiration to write often seems to have altogether disappeared, I felt God gently nudge me to share this very short, yet hauntingly beautiful song called 'Gabriel's Message.' I hope it will bless you as you listen to it.

I've never heard this song before. As I listen to it over and over -- these words that echo Scripture and set to music -- I'm struck by the thought that THIS...this song about the meeting between Mary and the angel Gabriel...can be taken as a story about another woman's Advent. Her time of preparation and transformation. Mary's set of circumstances are NOTHING like mine. And yet -- through this song, I find I can relate so well to her just now. This young woman on the cusp of change.

'Blessed Art Thou Among Women,' by Walter Rane

Mary's world was about to be forever and totally transformed by this strange, frightening, and unbelievably astounding news the angel Gabriel was set to deliver from Almighty God. She had no idea what this odd message from God would truly be preparing her for nor what it would ultimately require of her:

'"For known a blessed mother thou shalt be,
All generations laud and honor thee;
Thy Son shall be Emmanuel, by seers foretold
Most highly favored lady," Gloria!'

And yet, Mary's response shows her acceptance and willingness to obey; with words and heart attitudes that I would do well to echo in my own set of circumstances:

'Then gentle Mary meekly bowed her head,
"To me be as it pleaseth God," she said;
My soul shall laud and magnify His holy name"
Most highly favored lady, Gloria, Gloria!'

Meekness. Humility. Willingness. Acceptance. Obedience. Oh yeah -- all of THOSE vital, important things.

Maybe you are going through similar experiences. Maybe this Advent season is truly one of preparation and transformation for you. I'd love to hear from you, and perhaps we could pray for one another.

May the love, grace, mercy and peace of Christ abound in our hearts and lives this Advent and Christmas season, and in the coming new year, as He continues His great work in each one of us, however difficult, painful and time consuming it may be.

Tender Blessings,
Pam

(all lyrics used are from 'Gabriel's Message,' an original Basque Christmas folk carol, paraphrased into English by Sabine Baring-Gould with musical arrangement by Edgar Pettman; from Sting's 'If On A Winter's Night' CD )

Adding To The Noise

Don’t say anything that would hurt another person. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you. 

Don’t give God’s Holy Spirit any reason to be upset with you. He has put his seal on you for the day you will be set free from the world of sin.

Get rid of your bitterness, hot tempers, anger, loud quarreling, cursing, and hatred. Be kind to each other, sympathetic, forgiving each other as God has forgiven you through Christ.~ Ephesians 4:29-32 (God's Word Translation)

I must be honest and say that I am weary of seeing and sickened by the barrage of posts and pictures coming through my news feed on Facebook, on Twitter and even on Instagram, about the verdict of the George Zimmerman trial, along with the ugly, snarky by-lines and comments that accompany them.

Emotions are running high among 'just plain folks' like you and I, as well as amid celebrities, and the verbiage that pops up like out-of-control July 4th fireworks from both camps is, in my opinion, causing more damage, division and destruction than anything else.

I said this before, and I'll say it again -- think before your fingers touch your keyboard today. THINK before you hit the POST or SEND button today. And tomorrow. And the next. Don't let negative emotions taint your words and turn them into harmful, verbal poison. Once they're out there, you can't take them back.

Please think about the impact you are having upon people, especially young people with whom you may be friends, who are reading your posts and Tweets, who may be looking to you for guidance, leadership and understanding of what has taken place.  

My pastor likes to remind us often -- and thankfully so -- that if we are not part of the solution, we are part of the problem.

I ask you: Can we just STOP adding to the noise by this verbal and pictorial perpetuation of hate, distrust and division??

In a different translation (NIV) of the verse I referenced above from the book of Ephesians, the apostle Paul implored the church at Ephesus:

'Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths.'

We can take that as filthy language (swearing) or.... as using words that tear apart something that is whole. Words that divide us as human beings. As children of God.

And earlier in this passage, Paul urges his readers to

'speak the truth in love.'  

Are we not to take these same words and apply them to our lives & situations today? Sadly, I'm not seeing much of that here on social media from many people -- even and especially from those who claim to align themselves with Jesus and call themselves Christians.  

So like my pastor and like the apostle Paul, I feel led to remind, implore and urge everyone today:

Please stop being part of the problem. Please stop 'stirring the soup.' Please stop promoting hatred and inciting angry, hurtful and violent emotions. 

Maybe it's time to take a much needed break from television, radio and social media. Maybe it's time to go for a walk, read a book, take a drive, a bike ride or a swim. 

Or maybe it's time to find a quiet, solitary place, drop to our knees in humility and pour out our complaints and questions, anger and frustrations to the One -- the ONLY One -- Who can take our ilk and ire, the One Who is Sovereign. Who is Righteous. Who is Just and Justice itself.  Who is God.

God -- The One Who showed His great love for us by sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for us while WE were still sinners.  Selah

And then....

Can we forgive as Christ forgave? Can we offer mercy and grace as Christ offered mercy and grace to those who only offered Him hostility, hatred, violence and injustice?

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." ~ Dr. Martin Luther King

Prayer For The Wounded and Broken

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. ~ Isaiah 53:5 (NIV)

'Broken Life,' by Frenkyyy, @ deviantArt

Jesus -- in humility, we come before You, broken. Hurting.  Bleeding profusely. And begging desperately:  Please, Lord....heal us of our wounds today.

And may the scars that remain become our sacred badges of honor. Not badges we point to, bragging of and showing off to others in a prideful manner, but instead, may these sacred scars remind us -- not in a condemning way -- 

of who and what we once were

of where we came from

And....

of who and what we are today

of where we are now

of how far we've come

All because of You and Your 

amazing grace

unfailing love

new and tender mercies

and Your never-ending, sweet forgiveness of our sins towards You

For it is by Your wounds, Jesus, that

We Are Healed!

'Total Abandon,' by Chris Bradley

NOTE: May the words and music from this song, as well as the image of Jesus created in this video by Jesus Painter's Mike Lewis, help to bless, encourage and bring healing to your wounded heart, mind and spirit

("By His Wounds," sung by Steven Curtis Chapman, Mac Powell, Brian Littrell & Mark Hall, from the 'Glory Revealed' CD)

Worship Song Sunday -- You Are I Am, by Mercy Me

'While Jesus was still speaking, some men came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue ruler. "Your daughter is dead," they said, "why bother the Teacher anymore?" Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, "Don't be afraid; just believe." '~Mark 5:35-36

' "If you can?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."  Immediately, the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" '~Mark 9:23-24

'But when they saw Him walking on the lake, they thought He was a ghost. They cried out because they all saw Him and were terrified.  Immediately, He spoke to them and said, "Take courage. It is I. Don't be afraid." '~Mark 6:49-50

'But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.'~2 Corinthians 12:9

'Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I Am!" '~John 8:58

Bridegroom, The Great I Am, by Dee Brestin

Whenever you doubt; whenever you're afraid; whenever you think you have to do everything on your own, in your own strength, remember who He is.....

You are the One Messiah....You are I AM!

Worship Song Sunday -- Grace Like Rain, by Todd Agnew

For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of ourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. ~ Ephesians 2:8-9, NASB

Bring On The Rain! by steeleAcooper

And Hallelujah, grace like rain

Falls down on me;

And Hallelujah, and all my stains

Are washed away

They're washed away! 

A Very Merry and Blessed Christmas!

"For unto you is born this day, in the City of David, a Savior who is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger." ~ Luke 2:11-12

In The Hands of the Father, by Roger Loveless 

In the coming days, I will be spending time with my family, as well as much needed time with the Lord for contemplation and prayer about some deeply personal matters.  So I want to take this time to wish everyone here a joyous and blessed Christmas, and a very happy and healthy New Year! Thank you all, dear faithful readers, for your treasured support, encouragement and prayers this past year. I will covet them all the more in the coming year!  

Grace and peace to you, my brothers and sisters.

The Great Christmas War

As usual, I'm the gal with more questions than answers. So here I am with some questions. Questions some may not care for. If you believe you fall into that category, feel free to stop reading here.

Questions like: Why are we, as Christians, so angry and mean when people wish us Happy Holidays? Why are we so over-the-top insistent that others MUST respond in kind to our well wishes of "Merry Christmas!?" All this War on Christmas stuff has seriously begun to just drive me bonkers. 

Why do we expect people who don't know, don't love, don't care about and aren't interested in living their lives for Jesus the rest of the year, to suddenly ACT like they do during this time of year?  Let's be honest: When we ourselves wish people at stores, in restaurants, at the bank, at our workplace or schools, in our neighborhoods a "Merry Christmas"....are we really talking about Christ's birthday (incidentally, the exact, honest-to-goodness date NO ONE really knows), are we really wishing them a truly joy-filled celebration of this special, holy day, or are we merely referring to the commercialized, Santa-driven, Ho-Ho-Ho-holiday? 

C'mon now -- is THIS what Jesus meant by commanding us to share the 'Good News' with everyone? I doubt it.

We boycott stores who make their employees use the generic 'Happy Holidays' greeting, or who use it in their advertising, and encourage everyone in our like-minded little circle to do the same (ahhh, now THERE'S a loving, Christ-like thing to do). We slap those not quite so subtle, self-righteous bumper stickers onto the backs of our vehicles, letting every traveler behind us know that WE say 'Merry Christmas,' and if we offend you, well....too bad. 

We sing songs with titles like 'Love Came Down At Christmas,' yet we're showing anything BUT love to those who do not, and, in the case of those whose jobs policy clearly states so, CANNOT wish us, the curmudgeonly consumer, a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Where's the love of Christ here, folks? 

Growing up in the '60s, I remember going Christmas shopping with my mom and dad (because, yes, we celebrated Christmas), and having the salesclerks and cashiers wish them either a 'Merry Christmas' or 'Seasons Greetings.'  I never recalled my mother getting offended and leaving the store in a huff, or dashing off angry letters to the editor or to local congressmen.

And while I'm on the subject -- I'm just wondering here....why am I not reading anything from the Jewish community about how they are up in arms because people are wishing them 'Happy Holidays?' Where are the 'WE say Happy Channukah!' bumper stickers and buttons? 

Again -- these are merely the somewhat crazy musings that go through my oft overcrowded head on any given day. I'm, as they say, 'just sayin.'  

Perhaps -- and this is just a humble suggestion -- the better thing for us to do during this most wonderful time of the year, as people who want the world to know that we live for and love Jesus Christ, is to stop worrying about people's choice of wording and just treat others with the love of Jesus:

• Smile and strike up a conversation with the bored-looking teen with multiple tattoos and body piercings and tri-colored hair, standing behind the register. It won't cost you a thing and you might be pleasantly surprised 

• Offer to bring a hot cup of coffee or tea to the frozen looking Salvation Army volunteer who has been standing outside, ringing their bell in the cold for hours

• Look the tired and overwhelmed salesclerk in the eyes and ask them how they're doing -- and then really wait around for them to answer

• Let someone go ahead of you in line, especially if they have more items than they have hands

• When eating out, be sure to ask your waiter or waitress their name, if they don't tell you at the get-go; engage in actual conversation with them, not just the usual, "more coffee, please," and "you can bring the check now." And DO leave a generous tip, whether or not you believe they're in line for a 'Server of the Year' award. A bit of grace goes a long way. Make them look forward to having you come back, especially if you're a regular

• If you're the shy and silent type, anonymously pay for that fellow diner patron who sits at the counter, alone

• Smile and offer sincere thanks those who serve you and your family: from gas station attendants to Fed Ex delivery people; from your children's teachers to the guy down the street who shovels the snow off your sidewalk, free of charge and without your ever having to ask

I'm convinced if we slowed down, took the time and gave it some thought, we could come up with many more simple, yet sweet ideas for gift giving -- the gift of Christ's love to someone who we aren't sure has ever experienced it, through the Christmas season and beyond.

And for heaven's sake -- if you feel THAT irritated when someone wishes you 'Happy Holidays,' ask them what holiday they celebrate. If they say Christmas, say, "Hey, me, too!" If they say something else, wish them a Happy Whateveritis.  It takes less than ten seconds (believe me, I know -- I've tried it and timed it). And don't take it personally if their response is less than merry or jolly. Once, I asked my doctor's receptionist what she celebrated. She glared at me and responded, "I don't celebrate ANYTHING." So I told her, "Well, Faith -- then have a wonderful day!"  Faith's face softened a bit as she replied, "Thanks," and turned away.  

In the Great Christmas War, love, mercy, grace and humility can be our strongest 'weapons.' 

'Every Knee Shall Bow,' by Gaye Frances Willard

How do you feel about this and where do you stand on this topic? I'd love to hear from you.

Christmas Eve, 2AM/Heavy snow is falling down/And the streets clothed in white/Echo songs that were sung by candlelight/We're alive/we can breathe/But do we really care for this world in need?/There's a choice we must make each and every day.....~ When Love Came Down, by Point of Grace

Father, Forgive Them....

When they came to the place called The Skull, there they crucified Him and the criminals, one on the right and the other on the left.  But Jesus was saying, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”’  ~ Luke 23:33-34

Judging from the low amount of page views my previous post received, I’m thinking that forgiveness doesn’t rank very high among the Top 40 popular, Must Read blog post topics (If you missed it, please CLICK HERE to read 'Forgiveness'). 

I can understand why.  Like politics and religion, forgiveness can be a touchy, volatile subject.  Truth be told, most people would not only rather avoid thinking and talking about forgiveness, but more than likely would rather refrain from initiating and acting upon it as well.

Because forgiving one another is hard. REALLY hard. Not just for the small annoyances in life, but for those over-the-top, ‘how could anyone do something like this?!’ things, too.  Things that seem almost impossible to forgive.

I don’t have to remind anyone reading here that there are A LOT of thoughtless, cruel, heartless people in this world. From liars, thieves, drunk/drugged drivers, embezzlers, adulterous spouses to murderers, rapists, pedophiles, sexual predators, etc., there are people who don’t seem to care about the havoc they wreak or the carnage of broken people they leave behind; people who delight in the pain of others, be it physical, emotional or mental pain.  All you have to do is open up your newspaper, turn on your television or radio, power up your computer or simply walk out your front door to be witness to what’s going on in this fallen world.  When we read about an elderly person savagely attacked in their home, or learn of yet another child who’s been kidnapped and found miles away later on, brutally murdered, or we find ourselves the hurting victim of a crime of the body or the heart, forgiveness for the perpetrator isn’t on our minds or in our hearts, is it?  Nope.

Revenge is.

We’d rather see these monsters of society get what’s coming to them.  And if we’re totally honest, deep inside, wouldn’t we all like to get a whack at them ourselves, showing up in courtrooms or jail cells, like those mobs of angry villagers in old movies, brandishing our pitchforks and torches?

But, if we say we are Christians, aren’t we expected to brandish mercy and grace, and to extend forgiveness instead?  And when WE sin, don’t we expect our offenses – no matter what they are -- to be forgiven? Don’t we BEG for God’s mercy and grace to catch us when slip and fall headlong into sin?  Of course we do. I know I do.

Forgiven, by Thomas Blackshear

We can memorize the following Bible verse and gladly declare it and claim it as a ‘life verse:’

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: ‘While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.’” ~ Romans 5:8 (NIV). 

But what about committing THIS C.S. Lewis quote to memory and living it out:

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” 

Ouch.

I have to wonder – how did Jesus feel right before He cried out from the cross those mind-boggling words?

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they’re doing!”

Did Jesus wrestle with forgiving His haters, His betrayers, His murderers, much as He did in the garden at Gethsemane, struggling in anguished prayer to do His Father’s will and accept the overwhelming cup He’d been offered? He very well may have, but we have no way of knowing, since there is no record in the Bible of this particular wrestling match between the human and the Divine sides of Jesus in that instance.

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.  In me. If Jesus Christ, the Son of God, could do the unthinkable and ask forgiveness for the very people who despised Him, who betrayed Him, who mocked, beat and tormented Him, and nailed Him onto a wooden cross – WHILE He was hanging on that cross, close to breathing His final breath, and DYING FOR THEIR SINS AND OURS – can we do any less?  Can we remember that it’s not us but God Who says, “Vengeance is Mine, and I will repay?” Can we leave the justice and judgment calls up to Him, and just put down our pitchforks and torches…and learn to forgive instead?

It’s not easy, this forgiving of others. Oh, how I know just how difficult it can be!  So please join me next time for some closing thoughts in my final installment (and in case you’re wondering….no, I hadn’t planned on this turning into a mini-series of sorts)!

Forgiveness

"Forgive, and you will be forgiven." ~ Luke 6:37, NIV

Jesus.

He had some pretty hard sayings in His day, didn't He?  Difficult, even radical commands that He asked His followers to obey. Commands that made many wince; commands that caused many to shake their heads in disbelief and rebellion, and to turn and walk away.

Things like, 

"Love your enemies. Bless those who curse you and pray for those who mistreat you." 

"Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me will  save it." 

Today, as followers of Jesus, we come across these hard sayings of His in God's Word, and are asked to obey these same difficult, radical commands. Because, as Jesus told His disciples then and tells us now, 

'If you love Me, obey My commandments.' (John 14:15, NLT) 

One such command of Jesus' was the command to forgive. Indeed, Jesus had some radical things to say about forgiveness.  Things like:

"But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too. ” ~ Mark 11:25

"If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." ~Matthew  6:14-15

When Peter came to Jesus regarding how many times he was required to forgive someone who had sinned against him, he asked Jesus if he should forgive that person 7 times.  The answer?

“No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!" ~ Matthew 18:21

Is the idea of offering forgiveness easy, or is it harsh or difficult for you? 

Does having to forgive someone, whether the sin was against you personally or against someone else, make you:

• wince?

• angry?

• bitter?

• sick to your stomach?

• shake your head in disbelief and rebellion, and turn and walk away?

I know I have to say a resounding 'Yes' to most of the above. How do you forgive someone who has not only hurt you so deeply you feel tangible pain, but CONTINUES to hurt you over and over and over?  Like on a daily basis. Oh, my dears -- how I have wrestled with this through the years, only to come up empty handed, bruised and exhausted!!

How do you forgive someone who has taken something....or someone....from you? How do you forgive someone who has destroyed your family, your childhood innocence, your marriage, your career, your hopes and dreams, your reputation, your very life? Or someone else's? Again, this has -- and continues to be -- a struggle for me.  How about you?

Yes, I can tell you from experience, 'forgive' is certainly not the 'f' word that's come to my mind or from my lips right out of the gate over the years, after being abused, rejected, mocked, mistreated, lied to, gossiped about or hurt by others.  

But it was for Jesus.  

Father, forgive them......

More to come in my next post. I hope you'll join me for it. 


'This is love, this is hate....we've got a choice to make

Oh -- Father, won't You forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no);

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losing......'  ~from Losing, by Tenth Avenue North

God Is Good

Because of the LORD'S great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. ~ Lamentations 3:22-23, NIV

God is good.  So very good.  I know people say this all the time, so much so that it often can become meaningless; just another one of those ‘lame’ sayings that Christians like to say. Or like to put on T-shirts.

 

I admit – I have said this “God is good” phrase many times myself. Spouted it off with everyone else like the (sometimes) obedient little congregant that I am, when called upon to do so by the pastor, along with the accompanying response “All the time!”

But today...this very moment...I am saying it and meaning it.  I received something I asked for, but did not deserve. I am not going to go into detail about what it is and all that it entails.  Because really – that’s not the point of this post.  I do not wish to brag or boast here, as if I am some favored, golden child of the Lord.  Again, I am all too aware that I DO NOT deserve this provision, this immense kindness from God. I am completely in awe and greatly humbled that He even allowed this to take place. I know there are many folks out there who beg God daily to provide for a desperate need, or to remove a thorn from their side – and they are waiting.  And waiting.  And wondering while they continue to wait.

Believe me, I KNOW what that’s like.  There are quite a few things on my ‘list’ that I’ve begged God for over the years -- and I’m still waiting and wondering.

Today, I found myself yet again in dire need of something. And even after praying about it, I still found myself sickened with worry and anxiety over it. Several things occurred in the past few days that actually made my situation worse, not better, bringing me to that ‘dire’ status today.

What’s so totally weird and off-the-wall is, I KNEW that the answer was coming.  I KNEW the need was going to be fulfilled.  But I also knew that the timing was off.  WAY off.  The timing of the answer and the fulfillment wasn’t aligned with the timing of my need.

But God’s timing is completely different from my timing and that of the world’s.  This afternoon, God saw fit to turn the tables, so to speak, by shaking a bountiful, extra amount of grains of sand into my almost empty hourglass. He moved a mountain and provided for my need in a way I couldn’t have imagined or planned.  And I am so very, very grateful.

HALLELUJAH!!

No....I did not deserve it. Not one bit. Not at all. 

But God showed me mercy and grace, and saw fit to provide me with this gift ANYWAY.  Despite the fact that I'm a hot mess. Despite the fact that my central nervous system was riddled with anxiety and doubts and discouragement and every other kind of garbage.  Despite the fact that I had accepted that I was going down and would have to face the music and deal with the consequences some foolish choices I’d made were about to reap.

Because God is good. So very good.  His mercies are new EVERY morning, for sure. He is faithful, even when I – His flawed and fallen child -- am not.

How has God shown YOU His mercy, His grace, His love, His goodness and His faithfulness, dear ones? In what ways has He provided for you in your desperate time of need? Give some thought to that some time today, and give thanks that God IS good.  So very good.

Thank You, Lord, for hearing my cries and my pleas. And thank You that, despite the fact I am not perfect, that my prayers are often stilted and selfish, and I often doubt that You even hear me, You love me still. You look at me with eyes of mercy and grace; with a heart of compassion and forgiveness and unfailing love, and You rescue me. You protect me.  You provide for me and my family. May I never, EVER forget what You did for me today.  What You do for me every day. Thank You, THANK YOU, my Lord, my God, my King. Amen.

Disciples so often get into trouble; still God is there every time. ~ Psalm 34:19, The Message

You Are More

Taking a drive tonight, this Tenth Avenue North song came on the radio.  I've heard it played M-A-N-Y times there, as well as over and over on my iPod. And I'm pretty sure our praise team sang it in church somewhere along the way. 


But tonight, this song really came at me in a different way, moving in and taking up residence in my head and my heart.  Rearranging some things, like ill-placed furniture. 


I think there are times in our lives --


moments.....


seasons......


-- that we forget the whole point of this song and the essence of its lyrics.  I know I have -- and often, still do.

I slip

I stumble

I slide back

I beat myself up so terribly for doing so.  And then, I begin focusing on 

Where I've been

What I've done and/or what's been done to me

Who I was  

Wrestling with....

The poor choices I've made

The mistakes from my past

The problems I've had to deal with along the way, many (if I'm entirely honest) of my own making

Like ghoulish specters, their memories reappear, following me around and coming back to haunt me. 

BUT THEY NEED TO GO!


And instead, I need to remember and focus on 

Where I am now

What's been done for me

Who -- and Whose -- I am

I am not the same person I was 40 -30 - 20 - 10 years ago.  I should never think or look at myself -- and neither should you -- as less of a person because of who I used to be, how I spoke or because of people and things I was involved with.  These things are not the sum of who I am.


All because of Jesus and His transforming love and grace, I am more.  You are more.


We've been remade.


Selah.........