A Friend Loves At All Times

A friend loves at all times, and is born, as is a brother, for adversity. Proverbs 17:17 AMP

Today I have been thinking about friendships.

I’ve been blessed with some wonderful friends over the course of my life so far.

Friends who were allowed to remain for a season and then, for whatever reason, were removed from my life.

I am grateful for them.

Friends who have come along side me, praying with me and for me, through good times and bad times. Friends who have been with me when it was easy being my friend and when, through my own stubbornness, stupidity and sinfulness, I made it extremely difficult for them.

And yet…they stood firm and remained.

I am grateful for them, too.

I have not always been a good friend to others.  This is not a ploy for sympathy. I’m not looking for people to jump in here and saturate me with comments and compliments about what a wonderful person I am and how I could even say something like that, etc.  Please. I’m just trying to be as honest as I can here.

And to be honest, I have not been the kind of friend that others have been to me.

The kind of friend who will let me know when I’m behaving like a horse’s patoot

The kind of friend who will love me in spite of myself

The kind of friend who will caution me when I’m about to speak or write hurtful words in anger and in haste

The kind of friend who will warn me about the consequences that will result from a poor choice I’m about to make or who will do their best to keep me from acting upon a foolish decision I’ve already made 

The kind of friend who is comfortable with telling me words like

No

Wait

Stop

Don’t

Or with saying things like

“You need to take a step back and give this more thought”

“I think you’re making a mistake”

“This is wrong”

Or with asking me questions like,

“Did you take it to the Lord first?”

“Have you prayed about or talked this over with anyone?”

“Do you think God would be pleased with this?”

The kind of friend who will hold me accountable to promises and commitments I've made to do or to refrain from doing something

The kind of friend who is unashamed and unafraid to speak up, to speak out and to ‘speak the truth in love’ to me. Even at the risk of losing our friendship

I bring this up because recently, I was given the opportunity to actually BE this kind of friend for someone else….and I blew it. Big time.

Even as all the red flags were going up and waving vigorously in my face; even as all the bells and whistles were going off inside my head as my friend spoke of  recent experiences and events that had taken place, and of a journey they were about to embark on that I feared would take them into a dangerous area, it just seemed easier to ignore the warnings.

Yes, as uncomfortable as I was from all those not-so-gentle nudges from the Holy Spirit, it was just so much easier for me to sit, listen, smile and nod my head in all the appropriate places. To just keep silent, be agreeable, and to let it slide. No stress. No mess. No confrontations.

Because anyone who knows me well knows...

I don’t like confrontations!!

But sometimes – love has to be tough. Sometimes – the truth hurts. And sometimes -- 

WE. MUST. SPEAK. UP. NOW.

Jesus knew this.  He always spoke the truth in love to people.  

There was no sugarcoating with Jesus. While He displayed unconditional and unfailing love to those He came in contact with, I think it's safe to say that there were times Jesus also demonstrated tough love. He didn’t let things slide. He asked the hard questions. And He took the risks and said the radical things that NEEDED to be said to family, friends and Pharisees alike, knowing full well that His words could and would be taken out of context by some, infuriate and offend others, and cause many to flat out turn away, deeming Him a blasphemer or a kook.

Yet, Jesus was truly a Friend Who loved at ALL times. And I want to be like that. I want to be that kind of friend.  I WANT to be like Jesus.

I WANT to be able to say the risky, radical truths that my friend needs to hear.

I WANT to be able to speak the truth in love to my friend.

But I am afraid.  

I am afraid it will damage our friendship.  I am afraid my friend will see my loving confrontation as me just being judgmental of their situation, as some already have. I am afraid they'll become angry and offended and walk away – for good.

But I know I HAVE to move past my fears and make the effort to speak. And speak NOW.  

Maybe you've been in a situation like this before with a friend. How did you handle it? Or perhaps you're in this situation right now. Won't you join me in praying about it?

Lord, help me to be unafraid to engage in meaningful, challenging and difficult conversations with my friends when the situation or need arises. Give me words to speak -- Your words, Lord, that I might be able to give them wise counsel in their moments of confusion and indecision, conviction (and not condemnation) when they're headed in the wrong direction or already treading upon a dangerous path. May my friend's heart be open, accepting and teachable to what needs to be said. And, because of You, Jesus, and the precious love and friendship You've offered to me, may I become a better friend -- the kind of Friend You were...and are. Amen

Something about just being with you

When I leave I feel like I've been near God

And that's the way it ought to be, yeah

'Cause you've been more than a friend to me

You fight off my enemies

'Cause you've spoken the Truth over my life

And you'll never know what it means to me

Just to know you've been on your knees for me

Oh, you have blessed my life

More than you'll ever know ~

lyrics to More Than You'll Ever Know  by Nathan & Christy Nockels

Giving Thanks

Give thanks for what you have today, large and small, plenty and little.  God is our Loving Provider and Gracious Supplier. Take some time today -- whether in peaceful silence or amid the rattling of the pots and pans and dishes -- to give thanks to Him!

I am so grateful for you, my sweet, faithful readers. A very happy Thanksgiving to you all!! 

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through Him who gives me strength. ~ Philippians 4:12-13

God Is Good

Because of the LORD'S great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. ~ Lamentations 3:22-23, NIV

God is good.  So very good.  I know people say this all the time, so much so that it often can become meaningless; just another one of those ‘lame’ sayings that Christians like to say. Or like to put on T-shirts.

 

I admit – I have said this “God is good” phrase many times myself. Spouted it off with everyone else like the (sometimes) obedient little congregant that I am, when called upon to do so by the pastor, along with the accompanying response “All the time!”

But today...this very moment...I am saying it and meaning it.  I received something I asked for, but did not deserve. I am not going to go into detail about what it is and all that it entails.  Because really – that’s not the point of this post.  I do not wish to brag or boast here, as if I am some favored, golden child of the Lord.  Again, I am all too aware that I DO NOT deserve this provision, this immense kindness from God. I am completely in awe and greatly humbled that He even allowed this to take place. I know there are many folks out there who beg God daily to provide for a desperate need, or to remove a thorn from their side – and they are waiting.  And waiting.  And wondering while they continue to wait.

Believe me, I KNOW what that’s like.  There are quite a few things on my ‘list’ that I’ve begged God for over the years -- and I’m still waiting and wondering.

Today, I found myself yet again in dire need of something. And even after praying about it, I still found myself sickened with worry and anxiety over it. Several things occurred in the past few days that actually made my situation worse, not better, bringing me to that ‘dire’ status today.

What’s so totally weird and off-the-wall is, I KNEW that the answer was coming.  I KNEW the need was going to be fulfilled.  But I also knew that the timing was off.  WAY off.  The timing of the answer and the fulfillment wasn’t aligned with the timing of my need.

But God’s timing is completely different from my timing and that of the world’s.  This afternoon, God saw fit to turn the tables, so to speak, by shaking a bountiful, extra amount of grains of sand into my almost empty hourglass. He moved a mountain and provided for my need in a way I couldn’t have imagined or planned.  And I am so very, very grateful.

HALLELUJAH!!

No....I did not deserve it. Not one bit. Not at all. 

But God showed me mercy and grace, and saw fit to provide me with this gift ANYWAY.  Despite the fact that I'm a hot mess. Despite the fact that my central nervous system was riddled with anxiety and doubts and discouragement and every other kind of garbage.  Despite the fact that I had accepted that I was going down and would have to face the music and deal with the consequences some foolish choices I’d made were about to reap.

Because God is good. So very good.  His mercies are new EVERY morning, for sure. He is faithful, even when I – His flawed and fallen child -- am not.

How has God shown YOU His mercy, His grace, His love, His goodness and His faithfulness, dear ones? In what ways has He provided for you in your desperate time of need? Give some thought to that some time today, and give thanks that God IS good.  So very good.

Thank You, Lord, for hearing my cries and my pleas. And thank You that, despite the fact I am not perfect, that my prayers are often stilted and selfish, and I often doubt that You even hear me, You love me still. You look at me with eyes of mercy and grace; with a heart of compassion and forgiveness and unfailing love, and You rescue me. You protect me.  You provide for me and my family. May I never, EVER forget what You did for me today.  What You do for me every day. Thank You, THANK YOU, my Lord, my God, my King. Amen.

Disciples so often get into trouble; still God is there every time. ~ Psalm 34:19, The Message

Living In The Moment

Today, I did something that I haven't done for a very long time.  Or...come to think of it...maybe never at all. 


I lived in the moment.


I'm normally not a spontaneous person.  I like to know what I'm doing and when I'm going to do it.  To-do lists can be found in most every room of my house. Change up my schedule and you can be certain that I will freak out a bit.  Sometimes more than a bit. I could be considered someone who is anal-retentive, and not a person who thrives on living in the moment. 


I can also be overly concerned with how others see me and what they think of me.  I don't like to call attention to myself (although I did many years ago), preferring instead to remain just another face in the crowd. 


But today, I did things a little bit differently.


Today, in the middle of a sudden downpour, I responded to the urge to take off my shoes and socks and step out from my dry and protective little spot on my front porch right into the rain.  While I didn't dance in it, I did jump and splash in the puddles, kicking water as I happily waded through the small flash flood raging down my street.  I didn't care how I looked or who saw me acting like an overgrown 5 year old. 

It was different.
It was spontaneous.
It was fun!
It was freeing!


It was living in the moment.


Later in the evening, I went for a walk.  Most times, I walk to help maintain my health and body weight.  Sometimes, I walk to clear my head of all the gunk that is often swirling through it.  Tonight, it was to do both.  I'll often drive to a local park or to my daughter's high school track to walk, or I'll just walk through my neighborhood a few times.  Tonight, however, I strayed beyond the borders of my neighborhood, walking about a mile and a half from it.


As I was walking, I received a phone call from a lovely friend of mine; an older, wise and godly woman whom I've known for about twelve years now, and who, as of late, has become a mentor to me.  She didn't have an easy life for most of her years.  Yet, she is a joyful and thankful woman who loves, leans on, and walks and talks with God every day.  His love, grace, mercy, peace and compassion practically radiate from her, and she is as authentic a person and follower of Christ as the day is long. 


We had a wonderful conversation.  She asked me how I was doing, knowing I've been battling depression recently, and I told her that I was trying to look at various circumstances and people in my life from a different perspective -- a more thankful, grateful perspective.  She told me she was so happy to hear that and then mentioned this 'little book' (she always uses the word 'little' to describe things -- little book, little song, little prayer, little verse) someone had given her called ''One Thousand Gifts,' by Ann Voskamp, asking me if I'd ever heard of it or read it.  I laughed and told her that so many people I know have read it or are currently reading it, but I had yet to do so. She offered to let me borrow it, and went on to say that this was what the book was about:


living in the moment and


finding things to be grateful for in both the grace-filled and adversity-filled moments of life


She encouraged me to look around me as I continued on my walk tonight, to be on the look out for things to be grateful for that God might have waiting for me just around the bend, and to be ready to 'live in the moment.'  We ended our conversation with my promising her that I would try.


And I did.  


As I walked, I gave thanks for the sudden coolness today's rain had brought, and for the vivid colors of the flowers in all the yards I passed. 

I listened to and was thankful for the beautiful soundtrack of music that accompanied me, from the medley of tunes from a cheerful and rather loud mockingbird who seemed to follow me down one street, to the varied tones of several different wind chimes hanging from a neighbor's porch to the wind whispering through the tree leaves. 

I enjoyed and thanked God for a glorious display of light to which I was a privileged audience, as huge rays of the evening sun suddenly broke through some dark clouds, transforming the sky into a breathtaking heavenly and almost sacred scene.  All that was missing was a choir of angels belting out the Hallelujah Chorus (oh, but believe me, they were singing in my head)!

I had a huge smile on my face, and very briefly wondered if someone might decide to call the police as I realized I had stopped and was standing halfway up someone's driveway, staring up at the sky.  But oddly enough (odd for me), I didn't care.  


Because I was living in the moment.


Then, I passed by the elementary school that my son and daughter had attended and thought it would be nice to sit for just a few minutes on one of the benches in the playground.  But then, I looked a little further past the bench -- to the swings -- and thought, "Why sit when you can fly?"


And decided yet again to live in the moment.

The same overgrown 5 year old who splashed in rain puddles earlier in the day, now ran over to the playground equipment, hopped on one of the swings and swung up to the sky, putting my head all the way back, despite my vertigo, so I could continue seeing and enjoying God's light show.  Yes, my head spun for awhile, but it was SO worth it.  I laughed out loud as I saw a robin standing nearby, curiously studying me, no doubt wondering what this big person was doing on a kid's swing.   Then, I noticed a little boy and his dad over by the sliding board, staring at me, too, probably wondering the same thing. But it was okay. 

Because, once again:


It was different.

It was spontaneous.
It was fun!
It was freeing!


It was living in the moment.

How often in the course of our day do we go through the motions, always taking the same path, never deviating from the norm or jumping into the pool of spontaneity with all of our clothes on?  How often do we miss the sweet, funny, beautiful and tender blessings God delights to give us, if only we would choose to pull our eyes away from our iPads and iPhones and look around us?  When was the last time you laid down on the ground, not worrying about getting your clothes or your hair dirty or finding an ant or two (or three) crawling up your arm, to just watch and enjoy the clouds slowly moving by?  Perhaps picking out a few of them that resemble animals or people or even a heart.

What will tomorrow bring?  For me, I hope it's a day emptied of most of my To Do lists and instead, filled with more spontaneous opportunities to be thankful and grateful to the One Who has numbered all of my days and longs for me to enjoy each and every one of them.  Living in the moment.


What will tomorrow bring for you, dear one?  Will you choose to live in the moment?

Being Thankful

Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever. ~ Psalm 118:1

Today, I was all set to whine and complain about something very minor, via a post on my facebook page (facebook can be SO good for this sometimes), when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but someone’s post in my news feed about all the things she is thankful to God for these days. This is yet another person who has taken on a month long challenge of being intentionally thankful. I checked out her online Thanksgiving Journal and much of what she listed had to do with those kinds of things we take for granted every day, those sweet and simple, everyday blessings.

The love she receives from her pets

A clean kitchen (with all credit going to her hubby for that one!)

The heat blowing through the air vents in her home, keeping her warm as she writes

The sun peeking through the clouds on a grey day

The creams and lotions and meds that give her body relief as she forges on with radiation therapy for the cancer she is battling

Her post and her journal entries made me stop and realize that I too have much to be thankful for and that I shouldn’t waste my time whining and writing about stupid, inconsequential things over which I have no control.

I could name so many things for which I’m thankful that my list would soon resemble Santa’s toy delivery list for boys and girls -- practically endless.

But today, I will name some of ‘my favorite things':

*I’m thankful that I know that Jesus loves me. ‘Nuff said.

*I’m thankful that God is able: able to hear my cries so long ago, able to see me lying amidst the rubble and the messiness of my broken life and like the true Hero He is, able to rescue and remove me from it all, because He loves me.

*Even though they can be difficult to get along with and drive me crazy, often pierce my heart to its core and bring tears to my eyes, I am thankful to God for the family in which He’s seen fit to place me, for the husband and children He’s given me to love. I realize that at any moment, they can be taken away, and I‘m thankful for the time God has given me with them thus far.

*I’m thankful to God for the loving, loyal and lasting friendships that He has blessed me with over the years. Friends who pray for and with me; friends who provide me with wise and godly counsel; friends who dropped everything and showed up to support and stay with me when I was rushed to the ER some years ago; friends who hung out with me at the RWJ Cancer Institute and turned my chemo infusion treatments into mini parties filled with laughter, joy and LOTS of chocolate (and who shared all of those things with the other patients and staff as well!); friends who ran errands, drove my kids places, and made my family dinners when I was too weak from chemo to do so; friends who actually read and persevere through my long winded emails and blog posts; friends who have been there physically, relationally, financially and spiritually for me and my family in rough times.

*I’m thankful for my church, my pastors and their wives, and my church family. They are not perfect -- but neither am I, and I’m grateful to have been welcomed with open arms by this Body of Christ.

*I’m thankful for a home that’s cool in the summer, warm in the winter and dry when it rains.

*I’m thankful for running water and appliances that work; food in our ‘fridge and our pantry and clothes/shoes in our closets.

*I’m thankful to God for the reliable vehicles He’s provided us with over the years.
　
*I’m thankful for those people at the grocery store with tons of stuff already on the conveyor belt, but who let me go ahead of them when they see I only have one or two items.

*I’m thankful for Dollar Tree reading glasses, especially since I’ve become WAY too good at breaking or losing the overly expensive prescription ones!

*I’m thankful to God for grey, cold and rainy days like today, because they help me to appreciate that much more those steaming bowls of homemade chili or chicken noodle soup, warm chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven, piping hot cups of coffee or tea or mugs of hot chocolate topped with whipped cream.

*I’m thankful to God for the way He speaks to me through HIS Word, the written word -- fiction and non-fiction, Christian and non-Christian -- and through song.

I'd love to hear what you're thankful for!

You are my God, and I will give You thanks; You are my God, and I will exalt You. ~ Psalm 118:28

What if I looked at my life in a different way
Took a little more time to stop and pray
I know it would change all the moments in between
So here I go

Thank you for everything
Thank you for loving me
It don't even matter what tomorrow brings
Well, I will sing my

Thank you for sun and rain
For what you give and take away
For all your goodness I will always say
Thank you
Oh, I said thank you ~ Thank You, by 33 Miles