Legacy

For I am already about to be sacrificed [my life is about to be poured out as a drink offering]; the time of my [spirit's] release [from the body] is at hand and I will soon go free. ~ 2 Timothy 4:6, AMP

Yesterday, I attended the going home service of my beautiful friend, Daveida Wallace, joining together with several hundred other people, to bid her farewell. 

It's been my honor, privilege and delight to be a part of Daveida's life -- not only to have been her friend and to have loved and served her, but to have been loved and served by her. This woman made such an impact on my life and the lives of so many others.  We had only met back in September of 2010, but I felt like I had known her my whole life.  

At the time, neither of us had a clue as to just how entwined our lives would become.   

Daveida was a mother of three, a woman who had been battling breast cancer for some time; she was in pain, exhausted and had been told by her doctors that she'd be lucky if she made it to October.  She was simply looking for help with meals to give her overwhelmed family members a break when she reached out to our pastor for help, who in turn, shared her story and request with my friend Michelle and I, both of us being breast cancer survivors ourselves.  

Daveida told us later she had no great expectations of anything other than a few weeks worth of meals, and perhaps the pastor stopping by once or twice to pray and share some Scripture with her.  She never expected two survivors to come her way and wind up as friends. 

Michelle and I had similar non-expectations.  Even though we'd survived our own cancer journeys, that Saturday morning in September we showed up on Daveida's doorstep, we really weren't sure WHAT to expect as we eyed up the "No Smoking--Oxygen In Use" sign attached to the front door.  I remember the both of us taking a collective breath as we got ready to knock on her door, as if we were preparing to dive into unchartered waters. 

When the door opened, we were greeted by a waif of a woman with barely-there hair, and huge sunken eyes, lugging an oxygen tank behind her. We had to strain to hear her breathless voice as she welcomed us into her home, shared her story, and just before we were ready to go, whispered a prayer over US!


Later that day, though, feeling SO overwhelmed by her many needs, Michelle and I realized something.  We felt -- beyond blessed!!  How was THAT even possible? 

We went to be a blessing to Daveida, but walked away having the tables turned on us. 

Every time we met with her, it was like that. Not just for us, but for everyone else who came to know her in the weeks and months that followed.  Because, thanks be to God, October came and went and our delightful new friend remained among us, defying the doctors dire predictions! (That's our beautiful Dee in the middle, top row!)

Daveida wrote to me once that we'd be sisters forever.  And that will not change just because she has left this world. In fact, I feel an even more special, sisterly connection to her because she passed away on my birthday.  No, I am not angry, hurt, upset by that fact. Because I know that Daveida's with her Savior, Jesus Christ.  She is FREE -- free from all hurt, pain, discouragement, sorrow, disease.  And that is something to celebrate.  Her birth into new life!


For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that  is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God Himself and not by human hands.  We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing.  For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies.  While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it's not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us.  Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life. ~ 2 Corinthians 5:1-4, NLT


The soul of this precious woman left her body last Thursday evening and headed for her new home -- her home with Jesus.  However, Daveida didn't just leave behind a weary body. She didn't just leave behind a grieving group of family and friends.  She didn't just leave behind memories of brighter, happier, healthier days. No, she left behind much more than that.  

Daveida Wallace left behind a legacy.  

A legacy of love and service to others in need.  A legacy of perseverance and strength in the midst of pain and suffering.  A legacy of encouragement and hope, comfort and joy.   And she didn't leave it laying by the wayside for all of us to look at or comment on or weep over. 


Absolutely NOT!  This woman of faith left behind a legacy for all of us to grab a piece of and run with.  Just like she did.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ~ 2 Timothy 4:7, NIV


As hard as this seems and as much as it hurts for us who loved her dearly, we are called to carry on Daveida's legacy. Pressing on.  Moving forward.  Leaning on our Lord Jesus Christ all the way, following in His steps, like she did.  And we are to lean on one another as well.

Daveida didn't look at life as something to 'get through,' but as a gift to be enjoyed, savored and shared.  

She was pleased and content to be a humble, obedient servant of the Lord, avoiding the limelight and applause, choosing instead to work behind the scenes.  My friend wasn't looking for acknowledgement or accolades or other people's approval.  She was simply doing what every humble, obedient servant of the Lord and child of the Most High God does: shining her light of love in the dark places of this world. 

Last week, Daveida's light was gently, quietly extinguished by her Father God.  

But not before He made sure each one of us who knew her and loved her were touched by that light and have added a portion of her flame to our own that burns for Jesus.  To make our flames that much brighter as we also shine our lights in the dark places of this world. 

May my sister's legacy continue on in all of us.  


Daveida Wallace:
Daughter
Sister
Mom
Grandmom
Auntie
Godmother
Coworker
Friend
Daughter of the King
Good and Faithful Servant
Beloved

I will miss you so much, dear sweet friend.  Sisters forever!!


Until we meet again.................  


I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?  Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy ~ Legacy, by Nicole Nordeman

Under Attack

This past Monday night was the kick off for my church's Vacation Bible School (or Kids Camp, as they call it now). This is the first time in 11 years that I've never really been deeply involved in it. I'm just kind of there for support for two dear friends of mine who are heading up the station I'd done for several years. So there’s not much stress on me this time around, no running around like the crazy woman that I can be, decorating, setting up, trying to buy every item for our room that I think we could possibly need for the week (it’s the snack room for VBS station leaders and helpers). All I really did for the first night was to print out a sign for the door so people knew where we were, burn a music CD to play in the background as the volunteers sit and relax and chat for a few minutes during their break, run out to buy some coffee from Dunkin Donuts, and then help with clean up at the end of the evening. Compared to other years, this was a cake walk.

My kids and I returned home close to 10:00 PM, and got ready for bed. I was really tired, not because of anything I did (again, all minimal stuff), but because it’s extremely humid this week with temps soaring into the high 90s. Even with air conditioning, this weather just drains me. I laid down in bed, all prepared to get a good night's sleep and.....my heart started to pound, and my mind began racing faster than NASCAR driver Kyle Busch at the Nationwide Series race this past weekend.

And the thoughts that were on parade....so absolutely frightening and ugly. I lay there paralyzed for awhile by the fear and anxiety that suddenly had me in its grip. I tried to pray, but couldn't.  Those dark, anxious thoughts just kept tripping me up. I tried quoting Scripture in my head, but I couldn't remember a single one. I kept getting stuck. It was like I was brain dead and that scared me even more. I tried deep breathing exercises...yeah, those exercises they teach you during childbirthing classes that NEVER WORK while you're in labor.  Well, they didn't work this time, either. I tossed, I turned, I sat up, I cried, I went downstairs for water and grabbed my iPod, hoping music would distract and calm me.  Wrong.  I can probably name  every single, solitary song I listened to in my musical library.  NOTHING helped. And those ugly, dark, fearful and anxious thoughts just kept coming, surrounding me, dancing around in my brain. I realized that this was no doubt spiritual warfare, a horrific attack on my mind and my heart, although for the life of me, I can't see that I'm doing anything tremendous for the LORD this year at VBS, so why all the flaming missiles headed my way? Maybe because both of my teens are involved as volunteers? Perhaps even our smallest, most humble acts of service for the LORD are able to cause some big ripples in the lives of other people, big enough ripples to enrage the enemy and bring us under attack. Knowing this, however, did nothing to comfort me. I felt like I was dying. All I could do was whisper the Name of Jesus, over and over, begging Him for some relief.

 
As it began to get light, I fell asleep for about 30 minutes or so, and then my 'dog alarm' went off....my Doberman, Casey, wakes me up every day with her big dog snout in my face, or she'll paw at me until I acknowledge her and move off the bed and towards the bag of dog food awaiting her in the kitchen. I was a great, big wreck as I stumbled downstairs, mind still racing, heart still pounding.  After I fed the dog, I sat before the LORD and cried and continued to beg for some relief from this attack.  I could barely focus, I was shaking and in pain. Trying to function on half an hour of sleep while trying to deal with what felt like a never ending anxiety attack will do that to you. I picked up my "Jesus Calling" book and the first few lines of yesterday’s entry hit me like a wave of cool water:

"Bring Me all your feelings, even the ones you wish you didn't have. Fear and anxiety still plague you. Feelings per se are not sinful, but they can be temptations to sin. Blazing missiles of fear fly at you day and night; these attacks from the evil one come at you relentlessly."

YIKES!!!  He KNEW!!  Why did I think my LORD hadn’t been listening, that He wasn’t aware of my awful plight? Of COURSE He heard and knew. I eagerly looked up the Scripture references for that day, and Isaiah 12:2 was the verse that I held tightly to throughout the day:

"Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation.”
Later in the day, the LORD used a phone call, three email messages and a face book chat from three sweet sisters-in-Christ (thank You, Jesus, for Cecilia, Toni and Linda!) to bring me some much needed encouragement and prayerful support.  Linda, who sent me the three separate emails, had NO idea what I was going through at the time, yet each email was brimming with God’s Word, and messages from Him that I needed to hear to remind me that He was in control, He was for me and not against me, He was on my side, He was holding my hand, I could cast ALL my anxieties on Him, and that His perfect peace would guard my heart and my mind through this attack and future attacks.  All those truths I seem to forget about when I'm falling apart at the seams.

I’m happy to say that as the day went on and into Night Two of VBS, I was no longer tired, in pain, cranky or anxiety ridden. No small miracle to me! My mind slowed down to normal, my fearful thoughts had stopped bombarding me and I felt a peace that could only have come from Jesus. And, later, I was able to get 7 ½ hours of sweet, uninterrupted sleep! I’m so thankful to my Jesus for these simple, yet to me, powerful blessings.
I’ve included the beautiful picture that my friend, Linda, sent to me in one of her emails. It’s a picture taken at Sandy Cove, where our church holds its annual women’s retreat, and it’s a place which I always associate with the LORD’s perfect peace and true, loving presence.  I'm in awe that He knew exactly what I needed. 

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against? ~ Our God, by Chris Tomlin