Worship Song Sunday -- Here I Am, by Shawn McDonald

"Come to Me with empty hands and an open heart, ready to receive abundant blessings.  I know the depth and breadth of your neediness. Your life path has been difficult, draining you of strength.  Come to Me for nurture.  Let Me fill you up with My Presence; I in you, and you in Me."  ~ excerpt taken from the April 27 devotional entry of 'Jesus Calling," written by Sarah Young.


A pure, simple and honest song of worship to the Lord.


A song that says:


Today, lay it all down -- EVERYTHING -- at Jesus's feet and open yourself up to Him.  The fears, the deep seated hurts and scars; the desperate needs, the dark, ugly, hidden things and all. 


Invite Him into all of it.

And He WILL come.


I lay myself at Your feet
Asking You won't You meet
Won't You meet me?
I cannot do it on my own
I cannot do it all alone.  
Here I am, oh, tonight
With my arms open wide!
Won't You come inside
Won't You come inside, God?
Come and fill this heart of mine
I'm in need of You
Of Your touch, of Your life, of Your love
I need You,
I need You ~ lyrics to Here I Am, by Shawn McDonald

The Divine Gifts of Challenges and Trials

Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations. ~ James 1:2, AMP


This morning, I opened up my  'Jesus Calling' devotional book and read the following:


"Let Me help you through this day.  The challenges you face are far too great for you to handle alone.  You are keenly aware of your helplessness in the scheme of events you face. This awareness opens up a choice: to doggedly go it alone or to walk with Me in humble steps of dependence.......so consider it all joy whenever you are enveloped in various trials.  These are gifts from Me, reminding you to rely on Me alone."**


Anyone who has never read this book as a part of their daily devotions can easily dismiss this as being just the creative, random writings of an author.  But believe me, it's not.  There are several peeps of mine (one being my darlin' friend, Toni, over at her Lakeside Lessons blog), who marvel at how uncanny the messages from this book can be for us on any given day, whatever our situations or circumstances may be.   I am on my second go-round of reading 'Jesus Calling'  and the messages, while the same as last year's, are never stale. 


So today's was yet again another right-on-time message from the Lord for me.   But truth be told, I did think, as I read the first sentence, "Oh no, Lord.  Challenges?  Will there be more?  In addition to all the OTHER ones I'm dealing with right now?  Really?? PULEEZE -- No mas, no mas!!!"

For the past month, I've been attending to my husband's every need since he had spinal fusion surgery -- helping him shower, getting him dressed and undressed, changing bandages on both incisions (one in the neck and one in his hip where they had to remove bone marrow),  making special meals for him since he can still only eat soft foods (soft as in mashed potatoes, Cream of Wheat, eggs, soups).   Taking on some of my husband's jobs here at home.  Trying to encourage him in his pain and frustration.  And --  just learning to BE STILL (big lesson for moi!) and sit with him, talking and watching movies together, which I'm seeing has actually STRENGTHENED our severely anemic marriage.  (Whoa, God -- what ARE You doing here?  So amazing!)


Yet, add all of this to the daily duties of a being homemaker, shuttling both kids back and forth to their respective schools and trying to find some quiet time to pray, read God's Word and journal/blog in the midst of it all and well, it has been quite challenging to say the least.  


In addition to all of this, I'm going through some rough waters with both my teen son and daughter.  Both aren't making good choices in their lives, continuing to do, say and be involved in things that as children of God, I don't think they should be doing.  There's just so much out there bombarding them daily, like a serpent holding out forbidden fruit, tempting them to "C'mon and try me!"  I've done and continue to do my best to teach them, lead them and guide them in the right direction, but they don't seem to be listening to me.  The sounds of warfare are deafening around here.  I feel tired, exasperated, discouraged, angry and at times, broken.


Challenges.  Trials.  Difficulties.  I sigh and wonder how many more of these challenges are on the horizon, headed my way today, and how much more I can take.

Yet, after reading through today's 'Jesus Calling' devotional entry, I am once again presented with something to consider, something Jesus wants me to know, to remember, to hold onto in the eye of the storm.


Challenges, trials and difficulties are very often gifts from God.  Yes, gifts.  Not the kind of gifts I'm certainly hoping for, but gifts nonetheless.  These Divine challenges actually help to remind me of my constant need for and continual reliance on my sweet Lord -- always Him, all of the time.  


Surrendering all of my (supposed) control and placing my total dependence on Jesus is to humble me, not humiliate me.  Humility is one of the virtues with which we are to clothe ourselves (Colossians 3:12), thereby making us more like Jesus, Whose very nature was one of humility (Philippians 2:1-8). 

In the midst of all of these current challenges, trials and difficulties, in the eye of the storm, Jesus wants me to look to Him continually.  To reach out to Him constantly. To cry out for His help, over and over.  I don't need to walk through all of this alone, a lesson our pastor taught so beautifully and creatively this past Sunday.  Jesus is here, and although it doesn't seem possible at times, I can experience joy in my journey. 


There is a song from the musical, 'Carousel!' which the character Nettie sings to Julie, a woman who finds herself drowning in deep despair.  I grew up hearing this song sung once a year at the end of every Jerry Lewis Muscular Dystrophy telethon, and it made me cry each time.  As a child, I always considered it a very sad song, but that is not so.  It is a song of great encouragement; a song that Jesus very well could be singing to us, as He holds out His hand to us, not only offering us these gifts of Divine challenges and trials, but this hope-filled, loving promise: "You'll Never Walk Alone."

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of the storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark.


Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.

Walk on, walk on

With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never walk alone. ~ 'You'll Never Walk  Alone, written by Rodgers and Hammerstein


You'll Never Walk Alone


Above is a link to a YouTube video, with Johnny Cash doing the vocal honors.  I could have chosen other artists, but I feel that his life of brokenness and his looking to the Lord in the midst of his own storms lends quite a different flavor to this song. My hope is that this song and the words that the Lord gave me to share today will be of great encouragement to someone out there. 

**excerpt taken from 'Jesus Calling,'  by Sarah Young, copyright 2008, all rights reserved.

Under Attack

This past Monday night was the kick off for my church's Vacation Bible School (or Kids Camp, as they call it now). This is the first time in 11 years that I've never really been deeply involved in it. I'm just kind of there for support for two dear friends of mine who are heading up the station I'd done for several years. So there’s not much stress on me this time around, no running around like the crazy woman that I can be, decorating, setting up, trying to buy every item for our room that I think we could possibly need for the week (it’s the snack room for VBS station leaders and helpers). All I really did for the first night was to print out a sign for the door so people knew where we were, burn a music CD to play in the background as the volunteers sit and relax and chat for a few minutes during their break, run out to buy some coffee from Dunkin Donuts, and then help with clean up at the end of the evening. Compared to other years, this was a cake walk.

My kids and I returned home close to 10:00 PM, and got ready for bed. I was really tired, not because of anything I did (again, all minimal stuff), but because it’s extremely humid this week with temps soaring into the high 90s. Even with air conditioning, this weather just drains me. I laid down in bed, all prepared to get a good night's sleep and.....my heart started to pound, and my mind began racing faster than NASCAR driver Kyle Busch at the Nationwide Series race this past weekend.

And the thoughts that were on parade....so absolutely frightening and ugly. I lay there paralyzed for awhile by the fear and anxiety that suddenly had me in its grip. I tried to pray, but couldn't.  Those dark, anxious thoughts just kept tripping me up. I tried quoting Scripture in my head, but I couldn't remember a single one. I kept getting stuck. It was like I was brain dead and that scared me even more. I tried deep breathing exercises...yeah, those exercises they teach you during childbirthing classes that NEVER WORK while you're in labor.  Well, they didn't work this time, either. I tossed, I turned, I sat up, I cried, I went downstairs for water and grabbed my iPod, hoping music would distract and calm me.  Wrong.  I can probably name  every single, solitary song I listened to in my musical library.  NOTHING helped. And those ugly, dark, fearful and anxious thoughts just kept coming, surrounding me, dancing around in my brain. I realized that this was no doubt spiritual warfare, a horrific attack on my mind and my heart, although for the life of me, I can't see that I'm doing anything tremendous for the LORD this year at VBS, so why all the flaming missiles headed my way? Maybe because both of my teens are involved as volunteers? Perhaps even our smallest, most humble acts of service for the LORD are able to cause some big ripples in the lives of other people, big enough ripples to enrage the enemy and bring us under attack. Knowing this, however, did nothing to comfort me. I felt like I was dying. All I could do was whisper the Name of Jesus, over and over, begging Him for some relief.

 
As it began to get light, I fell asleep for about 30 minutes or so, and then my 'dog alarm' went off....my Doberman, Casey, wakes me up every day with her big dog snout in my face, or she'll paw at me until I acknowledge her and move off the bed and towards the bag of dog food awaiting her in the kitchen. I was a great, big wreck as I stumbled downstairs, mind still racing, heart still pounding.  After I fed the dog, I sat before the LORD and cried and continued to beg for some relief from this attack.  I could barely focus, I was shaking and in pain. Trying to function on half an hour of sleep while trying to deal with what felt like a never ending anxiety attack will do that to you. I picked up my "Jesus Calling" book and the first few lines of yesterday’s entry hit me like a wave of cool water:

"Bring Me all your feelings, even the ones you wish you didn't have. Fear and anxiety still plague you. Feelings per se are not sinful, but they can be temptations to sin. Blazing missiles of fear fly at you day and night; these attacks from the evil one come at you relentlessly."

YIKES!!!  He KNEW!!  Why did I think my LORD hadn’t been listening, that He wasn’t aware of my awful plight? Of COURSE He heard and knew. I eagerly looked up the Scripture references for that day, and Isaiah 12:2 was the verse that I held tightly to throughout the day:

"Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation.”
Later in the day, the LORD used a phone call, three email messages and a face book chat from three sweet sisters-in-Christ (thank You, Jesus, for Cecilia, Toni and Linda!) to bring me some much needed encouragement and prayerful support.  Linda, who sent me the three separate emails, had NO idea what I was going through at the time, yet each email was brimming with God’s Word, and messages from Him that I needed to hear to remind me that He was in control, He was for me and not against me, He was on my side, He was holding my hand, I could cast ALL my anxieties on Him, and that His perfect peace would guard my heart and my mind through this attack and future attacks.  All those truths I seem to forget about when I'm falling apart at the seams.

I’m happy to say that as the day went on and into Night Two of VBS, I was no longer tired, in pain, cranky or anxiety ridden. No small miracle to me! My mind slowed down to normal, my fearful thoughts had stopped bombarding me and I felt a peace that could only have come from Jesus. And, later, I was able to get 7 ½ hours of sweet, uninterrupted sleep! I’m so thankful to my Jesus for these simple, yet to me, powerful blessings.
I’ve included the beautiful picture that my friend, Linda, sent to me in one of her emails. It’s a picture taken at Sandy Cove, where our church holds its annual women’s retreat, and it’s a place which I always associate with the LORD’s perfect peace and true, loving presence.  I'm in awe that He knew exactly what I needed. 

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against? ~ Our God, by Chris Tomlin

Rest In Your Weariness (from a "Jesus Calling" devotional)

Below  is an excerpt from the "Jesus Calling" devotional book I use during my morning prayer times. Even though it's not this day's actual devotional,  I thought it quite relevant to share here.   This morning, I am beyond weary and on the path to completely exhausted.  The past several weeks have been so busy, busy, busy, with getting things in place for my daughter's 8th grade social and my son's vocational and high school graduations.  Last night culminated in over a decade of public school education for my son, and today, I am the proud mother of a high school graduate and a high school freshman. After my son's graduation ceremony, his school had a chaperoned, locked down, all night celebration at a local college, called 'Project Graduation.' After running all day, and physically and emotionally drained, I had the task of driving him out there at 11:00 PM and picking him up this morning at 6:00. I had about 4 hours of sleep and now it's on to work.


I'm sure many of you can relate, although your circumstances are different. At one time or another, we've all been in 'that place' of weariness.  Maybe today is just that kind of day for you. So as you read the devotional below, I want you to picture yourself sitting on the front porch of a cozy cabin in a wooded area of the mountains, overlooking a beautiful, peaceful lake in the early morning.  The sun is almost up and the temperature is slightly cool.  You're in a cushioned wicker chair, wrapped in a soft, light blanket.  And you’re so very tired. Birds have begun to sing softly, there's a slight aroma of honeysuckle and lilac in the air.  You smile, because Jesus is seated in the chair right next to you.  There is no one else around.  It’s just the two of you, so His entire focus is on you as He leans forward, looks directly into your eyes, and speaks tenderly to you:

"Come to Me for rest and refreshment.  The journey has been too much for you, and you are bone-weary.  Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as an opportunity for Me to take charge of your life.

Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good, including the things you wish were different.  Start with where you are at this point in time and space, accepting that this is where I intend you to be.  You will get through today one step, one moment at a time.  Your main responsibility is to remain attentive to Me, letting Me guide you through the many choices along your pathway.

This sounds like an easy assignment, but it is not.  Your desire to live in My Presence goes against the grain of ‘the world, the flesh and the devil.’  Much of your weariness results from your constant battle against these opponents.  However, you are on the path of My choosing, so do not give up! Hope in Me, for you will again praise Me for the help of My Presence."  (Romans 8:28 {AMP}; Psalm 42:11 {NASB})

As you read and visualize yourself within this scenario, may you find Christ's comfort and healing, rest, peace and strength to bring you through the remainder of the day.

Are you looking for someone to be gentle
With your broken heart your shattered dreams
And are you searching for someone who'll be faithful
To you no matter what life brings?
Well I know the Maker of the storm the sunrise
He is both the lion and the lamb
He is strong enough to shake all earth and heaven
Yet meek enough to take me as I am.


He says come unto Me
All who are weary
And I will give you rest
Bring what hurts
Bring your scars
Bring the load that you carry
And I will give you rest ~ Nicole C. Mullen