Into The Wilderness

"Filled with the Holy Spirit, Jesus returned from the Jordan River and was led by the Spirit into the desert for forty days, to be tempted by the devil." ~Luke 4:1-2a

Led into the wilderness

Carried into exile

Placed in a spot

Tailor made for me

Despair, by Rose Waugh, copyright 2004

A vessel emptied and

Waiting to be filled

Silence…….

There are lessons to be learned

In this silence

No longer the teacher

But the student

No longer the scribe
But the reader

Refinement taking place

In the absence of words

Alone…..

Those I thought I knew

Strangers now

Like vapors that have

Disappeared

They are gone, and I am

Afraid…..

A moan

A cry

A sigh

Escape my lips at various times

Echoing back

Among the ruins

The sound of my own voice

A cruel taunt

Cry For Help, by Deborah Nell

And yet….I sense

That I am no longer

Alone

And fear evaporates

Now there is One

Who waits beside me

His nearness…

A comfort

His presence…

My strength

Spirit of the Living God, by Deborah Nell

Although I cannot see Him yet

I know that He is

Here…right here

I sense His love

His peace

His wordless invitation

To come closer– to Him

Because He’s been in this place before

Himself…alone

Temptation In The Wilderness, by Briton Riviere

Exiled while still fresh

From the wild man’s baptism

Spirited into this desert

With droplets of the Jordan still clinging to

His hair

Abandoned by friends with

Fear His close companion as He

Sweats great drops like blood and prays

Alone in a garden dark

So I lean into this Shepherd
This Friend

This Brother
This God Man of hope and compassion

His breath, warm and sweet

Like a gentle summer breeze

Upon my head

His heartbeat a rhythm

Like a sweet symphony

In my ear

The Promise, by Morgan Weistling

Waiting…..
Breathing....

Content now

To sit at His feet and

To wait…

To learn…

In exile

In the wilderness

In silence

No longer alone

No longer afraid

When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile. ~ Jeremiah 29:13-14, NRSV

Close Encounters of the Holy Kind

"And Jacob awoke from his sleep, and he said, 'Surely the LORD is in this place and I did not know it.' He was afraid and said, 'How to be feared and reverenced in this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gateway to heaven!' " ~ Genesis 28:16-17 (AMP)

Jacob's Ladder, by Albert Houthuesen

Have you ever left a church service feeling empty? Ever make a quick exit upon learning your ‘favorite’ preacher or priest wasn’t preaching and teaching?  Did you walk out disappointed because you felt a sermon was boring and did not personally speak to you or address your needs, or because the music wasn’t to your liking? Have you ever gone home unmoved by and unchanged from your time at church? 

I can sincerely say ‘Yes’ to all of the above, with regards to the various churches I've attended at one time or another in my life.

Before the next Saturday night or Sunday morning rolls around, we would do well to ask ourselves:

“Why do I go to church?”

• Out of guilt?

• Out of habit?

• To get to Heaven and to steer clear of Hell?

“What am I looking for when I go?”

• An explosive, entertaining sound and light experience?

• A charismatic preacher whose sermons are funny, engaging, not too convicting, and won’t put the congregation to sleep?

• Tasty hot and cold refreshments, yummy baked goods, comfy seats and a good handle on their climate control?

• Chances to socialize and network with others?

Dear ones, may I be so bold as to insist that the next time you find yourself standing before the doors of a church, whether it's a church you've been attending for most of your life, or a brand new church you're trying out, please be sure to check your heart motives.  

I know this is something I've been so guilty of NOT doing for the majority of my life, and something I plan on changing immediately. Because to be honest, over the years on most Sunday morning, after trying to herd my son and daughter out the door and into the car, and now an elderly neighbor who needs a ride to services as well, I barely make it to church on time, slipping not so quietly into my seat -- out of breath, frazzled, irritated, distracted and sans ANY expectations of a close encounter with the Holy Spirit. Sadly, I'm more desperate for a cup of hot coffee and for my world to stop spinning and calm down than anything else.

Maybe it's like that for you, too?

However, above any other reasons, we should come to our places of worship to experience a fresh encounter of the presence and power of God’s Holy Spirit; to worship and praise our Lord along with a like-minded, close-knit body of believers.

As you place your hand upon the door handle and prepare to step across the threshold, expect to find Him lovingly and joyfully waiting for you on the other side of that door, waiting to welcome you as you enter in His sanctuary with awe, humility, thanksgiving and gladness!

Coming together in one place to seek the Lord, to give Him all our worship and praise should be our highest honor and privilege, as well as our greatest delight as Christian brothers and sisters. 

Are we desperate for the touch of Adonai?  Desperate for His voice, His healing, His very presence in this place?

I have to wonder what our church services would begin to look like if we became a people of holy expectation and desperation. If we truly surrendered and abandoned ourselves to God, as we stepped barefoot onto the holy ground of our sanctuaries,  with hearts and minds completely focused on Him.  KNOWING without a doubt that YAHWEH awaited US! 

I'd like to do more than just wonder this coming Sunday. How about you?

Let's stop going through the motions of stale and predictable worship each and every Saturday night or Sunday morning. Let's get rid of our little-to-no expectations of ever having an encounter with the Spirit of the Living God. Instead, let's open our hearts and turn our faces up towards our Almighty God and Father, hungry and thirsty for a holy, close encounter with our precious Lord Jesus, desperate for the Holy Spirit's presence in our church -- and in our lives!


Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise! Give thanks to Him; bless His name! ~ Psalm 100:4 (ESV)

Worship Song Sunday -- Here I Am, by Shawn McDonald

"Come to Me with empty hands and an open heart, ready to receive abundant blessings.  I know the depth and breadth of your neediness. Your life path has been difficult, draining you of strength.  Come to Me for nurture.  Let Me fill you up with My Presence; I in you, and you in Me."  ~ excerpt taken from the April 27 devotional entry of 'Jesus Calling," written by Sarah Young.


A pure, simple and honest song of worship to the Lord.


A song that says:


Today, lay it all down -- EVERYTHING -- at Jesus's feet and open yourself up to Him.  The fears, the deep seated hurts and scars; the desperate needs, the dark, ugly, hidden things and all. 


Invite Him into all of it.

And He WILL come.


I lay myself at Your feet
Asking You won't You meet
Won't You meet me?
I cannot do it on my own
I cannot do it all alone.  
Here I am, oh, tonight
With my arms open wide!
Won't You come inside
Won't You come inside, God?
Come and fill this heart of mine
I'm in need of You
Of Your touch, of Your life, of Your love
I need You,
I need You ~ lyrics to Here I Am, by Shawn McDonald

Worship Song Sunday -- Presence (Hearts Desire) by Newsboys and Jesus Calling Devotional

I'm amazed over and over at how our Lord God speaks a message to us that we need to hear, when we need to hear it.

Just as the weekend was about to begin, I was presented with some information, via a phone call and some emails, that sent family life here into a tailspin. I cannot go into details, but suffice it to say that it has been a rough couple of days, and unfortunately, circumstances may get worse before they get better. I need to stay positive for the sake of someone else, but it's been a moment by moment struggle. 

I chose this particular worship song early on in the week, having no idea just how it, today's devotional message  from the 'Jesus Calling' devotional book and the message from today's sermon at my church would seem to mesh, and how the Lord would speak to me in my particular circumstance through all three of them. Below is the devotional:

"As you turn your attention to Me, feel the Light of My Presence shining upon you.  Open your mind and heart to receive My heavenly smile of approval.  Let My gold-tinged Love wash over you and soak into the depths of your being.  As you are increasingly filled with My Being, you experience joyous union with Me: I in you, and you in Me.  Your Joy-in-Me and My Joy-in-you become intertwined and inseparable.  I suffuse your soul with Joy in My Presence; at My right hand there are pleasures forevermore. "

My pastor preached from the Book of Philippians today, all about having joy despite our circumstances.  Joy is NOT happiness; it's a deep-seated contentment regardless of my circumstances, knowing the Lord God is in control.  My circumstances do not determine my joy, because my joy comes from having the light of Christ's presence inside of me.   

This was a much needed reminder for me today, and it became a soothing balm to my aching heart and soul.   Maybe someone else needs to be reminded of this today as well, or perhaps hear it for the very first time.  Worship and praise the Lord, regardless of your circumstances.  Allow the Light of His Presence to bring you joy.

Happy are those who hear the joyful call to worship, for they will walk in the light of your presence, LORD. - Psalm 89:15

Anchor Me Down

There is a feeling of bitter sweetness in my heart and soul today. As usual, it’s fairly quiet in my house at this hour, and both my son and daughter are still sleeping. It’s sunny, cool and crisp…a true autumn morn, yet we’re still in August, the time of year referred to when I was growing up as ‘the dog days of summer.’ Although weather like this wreaks havoc with my allergies, it’s still beautiful and I enjoy it so much. It’s a refreshing and welcome relief from the 100 plus degree temps we’ve experienced throughout much of June and July. And I’m also grateful for the coolness, as my church is doing a children’s outreach at a church in Trenton all this week, and the building has no air conditioning.

But I digress. Back to the bitter sweetness and the reason for it. Over the weekend, my son’s two best friends slept over, and yesterday at this time, all three were sacked out in my living room. Today, they are not. They are home in their beds, and my son is upstairs in his. Tomorrow, the first of his friends will be leaving for college out in Illinois, so very far away. His brother, my son’s other friend, leaves for college up in Rochester, New York, the following week. For the past month or so, both brothers have talked incessantly to my son about the college experience…and rightly so. It’s a new chapter beginning in their lives, and a much anticipated and exciting time for them. I’m excited for them. But due to some unforeseen mishaps, many miscommunications and a series of unfortunate events, my son will remain behind in New Jersey and not be a part of that experience. For him, college is a dream put on hold for now. I can only imagine how he must feel.

These two young men were the closest friends my son had. They’ve known each other since third grade in Sunday school, and these two brothers were the only ones who ever approached me to inquire as to why my son was so ‘different;’ the only ones who hung in there and remained faithful and true to him even after I explained in detail to them about his genetic disorder, his learning disabilities, his autism. Yes, there’ve been other kids my son has known, from school and church, and has been friendly with -- but they’ve all left for college, or moved away, or grown apart and moved onto other friends. It seems my son is alone. And my heart aches for him. I cry over him a lot lately, although I make sure he doesn’t see or hear me. I put on my brave face and encourage him as much as I can.  At the same time, I’ve been begging the Lord to protect my son’s mind and heart from depression, asking Him to send my son some new good, kind, fun friends. Some guys and gals who truly and sincerely love and live for Jesus with everything in them to come alongside my son to encourage and support him; to enjoy him and have fun with him; to protect him, love on him and understand him. I don’t want loneliness or depression to surround my and choke the life out of him. I know his friends will probably come back from college on breaks, but I’m also aware that they’ll be forging and firming up new friendships at their schools, and I fear they may grow away from son, no longer having the same interests and things in common. And my heart aches for this as well.

My son is now too old to be able to attend our church’s youth group. As far as I’ve been able to tell, there’s basically nothing for the young adult community there, unless you’re affiliated with or on some college campus, and then there’s something called InterVarsity. But we’re down to the wire here in getting my son into the career training institute connected to our local community college, and the State agency that we sought out that helps those with disabilities to do this, seriously dropped the ball in my son’s case. At this point in time, I don’t know what will happen next, as the culinary program in which my son wants to enroll at MCCC begins on August 29 and the State agency’s paperwork to get him in is not even close to being completed by them. It’s going to take a true, blue miracle from God, if it’s His will for my son to attend at this time, to move that mountain of paperwork and to orchestrate my son’s admission to the program.  And not surprisingly, God has revealed to me a backup plan for him in the mean time.  

But it’s the lack of friendships and mentors in my son's life that weighs heavily on my heart, mind and soul these days. I don’t believe my son has ever sincerely and consciously given his life to Jesus, either, and that concerns me deeply, too.  So with no true friendships or mentoring relationships with some older godly men (or women), no church group community activities he’s connected or involved in, I fear that my son will just eventually fade away from the church, from the body of Christ -- and ultimately, from the Lord Himself.

Well…I’ve certainly thrown myself into a deep, dark pit here, haven’t I?  Yet, it’s when I reach rock-bottom moments like these, my Jesus gently reminds me that He is here, that He can be trusted, that He is faithful and true. “Trust in God, trust also in Me,” was what Jesus told His disciples (John 14:1b). And it’s what He tells me, too. Our great and awesome God loves my son more than I do, and I MUST believe that He did not bring my son through all the difficulties, all the road blocks, all the valleys and wilderness experiences; through all the seemingly impossible situations and dark, rocky, winding roads in his life that I’ve been a witness to, JUST to drop him off and leave him lying alone, discouraged and forgotten by the wayside. That is not in His character.

So I must shake off all of this negativity and keep pressing on, remembering God’s promise to never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), holding tightly to my Jesus, Who is the firm and secure anchor for my soul (Hebrews 6:19), and believing that this latest bend in the road will only make my son -- and me -- stronger.

A footnote to this: at the time I finished typing this, I hadn’t yet read my daily devotional from “Jesus Calling,” as I do every morning. Before I got ready to post it, I grabbed another cup of coffee and felt nudged in my spirit to open up the book.  No coincidence what today’s devotional reading was about; as my friend Toni would say, this was indeed a ‘God-incidence,’ with Jesus speaking tenderly to me. Here are a few of the highlights from it:

‘Entrust your loved ones to Me; release them into My protective care. They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands. If you let a loved one become an idol in your heart, you endanger that one -- as well as yourself. I detest idolatry, even in the form of parental love. When you release loved ones to Me, you are free to cling to My hand. My Presence will go with them wherever they go, and I will give them rest. This same Presence stays with you, as you relax and place your trust in Me. Watch to see what I will do.’

Jesus…..I’m trusting. And watching.
　
You said I'm not alone here.
I said throw me a rope and,
I've had more than enough of the rain and the cold and I wanna give up and,
I know, I know, I know without hope,
I'll only sink, not swim.

And the current here is stronger now, than I remember.
And I'm crying for You to help.
Please save me.

When I feel like I am drifting away,
Sinking down, the sails aren't shipping today,
I'm about to lose my way,
You anchor, anchor me down.
Looking out, the skies are turning to gray,
All around the tide is pulling away,
Just about to lose my way,
You anchor, anchor me down. ~ Anchor, by Satellites and Sirens